I would just like to say

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landowner said:
We've been married 55 years and apart for 10
It's my son trying to get the house off us, he's manipulating her
She was quite happy living in the big house we both bought for cash in 1985 and me in my bungalow.
It's not going to end well for either of us I'm afraid :(
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Agree with her to sell it and split the cash, got nothing to do with the boy
 
Stanleysteamer said:
So sorry mate! As you say, she is being manipulated.
I thought as much from your first post. So typical, sadly.
Is there any chance at all that you can contact her, preferably in writing, saying that you know exactly what is going on and that you don't want it to end badly for her any more than for yourself? Try asking for her to go to mediation, minus the blinking son.
If it goes to court she will only end up with half of the house so she will end up living in a much worse place. Maybe if you can make her see that, she'll eventually agree to the divorce with things being left as they stand, if you are happy with that.

When my ex and I divorced we worked out a mutually satisfactory arrangement re finances based on how we had always done it, i.e. we paid into a joint account according to our incomes, for all joint expenses. Including the house. So when we got divorced we worked out the settlement based on exactly the same formula.
The judge asked to see us to discuss this, but we were both happy with it and declined his request. So we got the decree absolute but no official financial settlement. This is probaly very unusual. But it suited us fine and we went on working together for the next 20 years with no recriminations or threats of going back to court.
Again, so sorry mate, and best of luck!
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Stanleysteamer said:
I'm afraid that I would say it is never too late. You have nothing to lose by trying.
It all depends how much she is under said son's thumb.
So try anyway. The court cannot force you to do much. It isn't a Chieftain tank, it is there, at the end of the day, to ensure justice, i.e. fairness.
Of course if she goes for it then you will have eventually to go to court and plead your case. But I would suggest that your having allowed her to live in the joint marital home for the past 10 years rent free ought to count for something. i.e. back rent at the very least. Did she pay all the bills i.e. council tax etc?
If she cuts up rough I would be demanding back rent against her claims. That should knock a hole in her case. You will know how much a house like that goes for rent in the open market over the past ten years. It would add up to a sizeable sum.
Knock that off half the value of the house as it stands..... Did you have children under the age of 18 living in that house during the last 10 years? If not she hasn't got a leg to stand on. She would have to prove that she basically paid for the house and that it is/was always hers. She cannot expect to live in it rent free for 10 years and then take it off you or take half of it off you.
Totally hating to say this, but if you feel under pressure and a bit "rabbit in the headlights" you need to get proper advice. But do tell your solicitor everything you have ever done for her and the house so he/she has a proper picture.
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Hippo said:
Yer need propper legal help from a legal peep who deals wiv devorse. They will know the typical reasonable settlement and what you can argue, fer what yer have to share. Where yer defence is bearing in mind wot yer both put in and wot levers change that. Devorse settlement is difficult to judge. Yours has some unusual cling ons wiv the dual property fing and length of time and wot fings happened during that time. Eye appreciate its daunting to approach a legal peep but its the best way. Yer need someone acting on your behalf to deal wiv this and to guide you.
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Dippypud said:
Agree with her to sell it and split the cash, got nothing to do with the boy
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Going to engage a divorce legal eagle, only option I have really
Prob take three months but got one with a fixed fee
 
Morning All. :D
Another glorious day it seems. :)
I mowed the lawn yesterday, so will have to find another brownie-point task.
We discovered yesterday that with all the rain we have had a water ingress problem in the front bedroom.
Where they fitted the new windows 2 or3 years ago all the mortar/bodge infill around the window-sill return is cracked/missing and the wind driven rain has been pushed through and the wallpaper under the window-sill inside has lifted and the area underneath is black with mould. :(
I don't like working off ladders either. :(
Grrrrrrrrr...........
Anyway, have a nice day. :D
 
kevstar said:
Well nearly but not quite..... a lot of the free stuff ive acquired or got given which ive been selling & have put the proceeds
into a pot which btw is copper (which ive had for years) the reason ive kept it will follow. I was putting it away for another
landy so in fact it would be free. :D:D

The reason I kept the pot was that if it ever came that I had no money id still have a pot to pizz in. 🤣🤣 So I fill it with all
my change & things that I sell. :):)
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"The Bank of Kevland" hmmm, must remember that!!;)
 
kevstar said:
Is it not the D4s with snapped cranks ???? No sure the most modern engine ive had is a 300tdi.
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"the most modern engine ive had is a 300tdi.!"

And I would stick with that. Even the TD5 is soooo prone to electronics faults, as I have found and mine have been nothing like as narsty as some others have had.
 
landowner said:
Too late I'm afraid, divorce proceedings already in motion, she's going straight to court
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I've just found this.
It looks as if you both may be forced to do mediation to resolve the financial situation anyway.
www.goodwinsfamilylaw.co.uk

Is Mediation Compulsory During Divorce Proceedings in the UK? | Goodwins Family Law Solicitors

In this article, leading law firm Goodwins Family Law Solicitors discuss when mediation is required during divorce proceedings under English and Welsh law.
www.goodwinsfamilylaw.co.uk www.goodwinsfamilylaw.co.uk
although, yes this is a legal site and yes they may be touting for services.
I'll dig deper and let you know what I find.
 
landowner said:
Too late I'm afraid, divorce proceedings already in motion, she's going straight to court
Click to expand...
This is from the Gov.uk site.
So proper pukka.
"Money and property when you divorce or separate

Contents​

  1. Getting a financial agreement
  2. If you agree
  3. Get help agreeing
  4. Get the court to decide
  5. Maintenance payments
  6. Tax when transferring assets

Get the court to decide​

If you and your ex-partner cannot agree how to divide your finances you can ask a court to make a financial order (also known as the ‘contested’ route or an ‘ancillary relief order’).
This means the court will decide how assets will be split. Getting the court to decide usually takes longer and is more expensive than if you and your ex-partner agree.
You must attend a meeting about mediation before you can apply to the court to decide - except in certain cases (if there’s been domestic abuse, for example).
A financial order will describe how you’re going to divide up assets like:
  • pensions
  • property
  • savings
  • investments"
So you will be pushed towards although not into mediation.
The court will take a very dim view of her if it knows that you are extremely willing to go to mediation, and she has blocked it.
And as we have been saying from the beginning, making the court do it will cost a lot more money to both of you.
 
kevstar said:
Its quite hard to eat an axle :oops:
Click to expand...
Technically, not an axle as such, more a shaft or axis of rotation.

Translate 'arbre' from French to English

French to English translation results for 'arbre' designed for tablets and mobile devices. Possible languages include English, Dutch, German, French, Spanish, and Swedish.
m.interglot.com m.interglot.com
So I still don't know why you put "tree" in. :oops:o_O
 
landowner said:
Done that, offered for her to sell house and buy a flat and we split whats left but she refused because I want the flat in joint names
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Soz mate, but too complex. Too much stuff that would have to happen at a later date. At the end of the day, once the house is sold it is up to her what she does with her half of the money.

Peeps do very odd things.
My ex for instance took hers, never bought a place, lent a lot of it to her brother which I doubt she'll ever see again and to my knowledge is still living in rented with her newish husband who we think went bankrupt round about the time she got married to him.
Me and all our other colleagues urged her to buy a place even if she rented it out while living with her new bloke, but no talking to her. (She split with the "new bloke", after 20 years and left without the traditional pot to wee in. )
Let her make her own bed and lie in it.
But if she can be persuaded to go to mediation, as the court will urge she will be better off as will you.
 
Heard from the dottir who looks after our place whenw e are away.
1/ the gardener she got to look over the place wants to charge £35 an hour :eek::eek::eek: and is trying to make work for himself. He is saying it'll take a day just to cut the grass as it is, (It's a foot high and I have doen it myself in 2 hours). He also wants to do weeding , hedge trimming and other stuff that we DON'T want doing.
He also wants to cart stuff away in huge bags charging £45 a time to dispose of and he thinks it'll take 3 of 'em.

Contrast this with the bloke we had last year who charged £20 an hour, put all the cuttings in black bin bags and stacked them near the shed for me to dispose of when we got back, (didn't even fill the back of the Disco) did nothing that we didn't want. So did an hour a fortnight, before an after pics proved he was only ever there for an hour at a time.

Sadly he packed up gardening at the beginning of the year.
So I'll have to email him to see if he will be more reasonable and only do what we want. (So many trades come to our house, think we are both rich and stupid and try to charge like flip. We get fed up of it but at least we can now spot them a mile off. They take an age to quote, looking around the property, before giving outrageous prices. Decent ones come in, only look at the job and straightaway say something like "2h hours work , £50". Or whatever.

2/ She was harassed by our poop neighbour about our CCTV camera, despite dottir telling her over an over that it is only a dummy, which it is as we don't record anything. All the appropriate signs are up. So many people need to read the law on CCTV cameras and the Data Protection Act. Even if we did record stuff they couldn't do anything, we aren't pointing it at their house and recoding stuff. Police will have to be involved yet again. Ye Gods!:mad::mad::mad:

Rants over!

Apart from that W in bed with bad stomach again and it has been drizzling most of the morning.
Have a nice arvo all!
:):):)
 
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