Ask Any Old Git (ceptin fer lord slob)

The Mad Hat Man · Nov 3, 2006

because they can? its like why do they drive at 70 in thick fog?

mondo · Nov 3, 2006

mornin professor slob!

why is it when i visit this forum , i get a little spinning CD next to the mouse pointer and a window with autoplay pops up, but i aint got any CDs in me puter

mondo · Nov 3, 2006

And ow come disco owners are obsessed with the biggest tyre size they can fit to there tractors.
do you think it has something to do with small dicks??

The Mad Hat Man · Nov 3, 2006

mondo said:
mornin professor slob!

why is it when i visit this forum , i get a little spinning CD next to the mouse pointer and a window with autoplay pops up, but i aint got any CDs in me puter

it must be the anti-hippoo virus that is downloaded automatically from this web site. Causing severe shakes, hiccups and liquid loss (and thats just the hippoo)

slob · Nov 3, 2006

discomania said:
Slob... why do wimin always drive in the middle lane?

when wimin are drivin they are so good at it they dunt need to concenmatrate as hard as men. so to use up that extra brain power they like to show off just how easy they find driving. They do this in a multitude of ways. the most common way being the application of make up. which required that they look in the mirror to avoid looking like ronald mcdonald on a bad day.
Now wimin as we all know have a built in self presevation logic chip. this chip over rides the desire to drive in the left lane and places the wimin's car in the center of the road to allow for any change in steering wheel position while reaching down for that dropped lip gloss that has rolled under the seat. this ensures that the bint has maximum room for swerving when she realises that she has inadvertantly turn the wheel as she bent down to grope about under the seat and in the foot well.

slob · Nov 3, 2006

The Mad Hat Man said:
because they can? its like why do they drive at 70 in thick fog?

oi! you! this is 'ask slob' not 'ask daft **** man'

slob · Nov 3, 2006

mondo said:
mornin professor slob!

why is it when i visit this forum , i get a little spinning CD next to the mouse pointer and a window with autoplay pops up, but i aint got any CDs in me puter

thats not a spinning disc! it a visual abstract model of my emense brain power and its just showing how my head is spinning after all these bongs and questions

slob · Nov 3, 2006

mondo said:
And ow come disco owners are obsessed with the biggest tyre size they can fit to there tractors.
do you think it has something to do with small dicks??

yup you got it in one.. the size of a tractors tyres are inversely proportional to the size of said tractors owner's nob

slob · Nov 3, 2006

The Mad Hat Man said:
it must be the anti-hippoo virus that is downloaded automatically from this web site. Causing severe shakes, hiccups and liquid loss (and thats just the hippoo)

look ! avse told you once its 'ask slob' any more and you wont get a answer about yer toast and cats!

The Mad Hat Man · Nov 3, 2006

slob said:
oi! you! this is 'ask slob' not 'ask daft **** man'

i wasnt answering sir Slob, I was just adding to the q.

The Mad Hat Man · Nov 3, 2006

slob said:
look ! avse told you once its 'ask slob' any more and you wont get a answer about yer toast and cats!

I wasnt answeing - i woz just giving my hippommotamusing, coz yu seemed to still be asleep!

slob · Nov 3, 2006

i was.... ah got a bad case of wind and a stinkin head ache.. never mind all will be well fer when yella gets me excedingly drunk tonite.

The Mad Hat Man · Nov 3, 2006

i fort he woz in espanole.

dear slob - whereis Yella?

slob · Nov 3, 2006

yella is at this moment driving fre spain to frogland. he should have entered frogland by now as he hopes to be here about 20 hundred hours cet. when he promises to conduct an eggperiment to see how much vino colaspso it takes to git me drunk.

Widget · Nov 3, 2006

Dear Slob - does ****boy need a slap?

http://www.landyzone.co.uk/lz/f7/winch-poll-34527.html

slob · Nov 3, 2006

Widget said:
Dear Slob - does ****boy need a slap?

http://www.landyzone.co.uk/lz/f7/winch-poll-34527.html

oh! i think ****boy just needs a bit of time to understand how this place works. he's probelly used to them " oh yes nigel i have a detailed diagram of winch fitting which i will gladly bring to you" "why thank you bertram that would be real nice of you, i'll have the wife make tea and some cucumber sanwiches for you arrival"

where as we are more like " you! heres a piccy, use yer heid and get it did" " oh thanks **** but you need to get yer lighting sorted cos ah canny see **** in that picture. ****!"

"try adjust yer screen setting them numbnuts"

"oh ok! will i have to adjust the wiper blades before fitting my 565/12 x28 mega tread tyres tomy 4x4 panda?"

"no you just need to swap yer panda for a fiat allis"

slob · Nov 3, 2006

reet! daft **** after conducting many eggperiments with cats and toast using your specs i have to say that so far there is no conclusion evidence pointing to a definative answer. so what i did was increase the drop height until some sort of stable outcome occured. after increasing the height by 0.3496inches each time as requested by yourself i found that at a height of 15.658924358 meters the cat had enough time to paw the toast from her back to a position whereby she was able to eat the toast. resulting in the cat landing on its feet every time.
if you require any more testing then i would ask that you arrange for a scantily clad big breasted young woman to butter the toast for me, and another supply of cats

GRUNT · Nov 3, 2006

If you've sorted the toast/cats cats/toast. Could you answer this one. Does our Myrtle fake her orgasms?

slob · Nov 3, 2006

GRUNT said:
If you've sorted the toast/cats cats/toast. Could you answer this one. Does our Myrtle fake her orgasms?

only when she wants a new kitchen/sofa/washing machine/etc
otherwise she dunt bother

RAZ8550TDI · Nov 3, 2006

dont even think slob has the answer to that one mate lol

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