Ask Any Old Git (ceptin fer lord slob)

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Griffdowg said:
lol probably be a crap standard because were not doing the test like you would horizontally and gravity doesnt like it and its all going to go rong when im down a 4m deep pit with a 50 tonne jack and 2 40kg steel plates between me legs :D
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i think you'll find that questions of a sexual nature are not allowed
 
im testing the in-situ strength of the chalk at 3.2m depth by applying an effective stress load on 2 450mm diameter (40kg) plates 0.6m apart. you jack the... jack up to 1/4 the working pressure. you then measure the settlement in 1min increments on 6 gauges (3 on each plate) until settlement is minimul and then you go to 1/2, 3/4 and full working load of just under 30 tonnes force. taking readings of the settlement of 2 plates along the way.

its for a thrust block on a pipeline... maybe i shouldnt be talking about this incase the client is a landrover owner! so i wont mention places or which company we are contracted by :)

yer, so thats it. sorry disco. thrust block design thats what we are testing for.

G
 
The Mad Hat Man said:
Hey, Slob - I seem to have started summat here - your moment of glory, huh?
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aye lad! spreading wisdom and lurnin to the great uneducaked. you just keep the que in order so ah kin consenmatrat on giving the bestest answers
 
i wud if sumone wud cut the piggin rope attached to me neck and that anchor yu chucked out o Minges rocket. I is bouncin around like a big bouncy thing.
 
oh ffs ere use me leatherman in cut yersin loose and will you stoap yer boinging!
and yer bits are still on back order cos you will have a veehickle that has strange and rare and not often called fer parts on it. if you'd bought a series they always have every thing in stock except when they dunt.
 
cheers slob, would mine but main thing i need is my rear bottom shockie bushes as one is already clangin round, only a fooking 46p part and i have already waited 2 weeks lol surley these must be regular items on the disco200? slob help me!
 
The Mad Hat Man said:
Thanks mate - i got a q for ya - why is it that Minge and Mondeo still like Hippoos?
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because me boyo they is walk-a-ways...

when the big yin was makin folks he got in the habit of putting the brain in last.. he'd do a batch then leave them till later to put the brain in.. one day it wur near lunch time and he wur starving so ee says fook this am orf fer lunch i'll brain them two later...;yup thats right ..while he was having his egg butty the two of them up and walked-a-way...
 
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