I would just like to say

Hippo · Jun 25, 2023

Eye put meal wurms between me pots as eye have spotted burds flying oot from there during the day. They hide in there. Too fast for me to recognise. They zap into a bush where eye can hear tweets coming from. Who would have fort a bush were on twitter. When eye open me kitchen door they all fly oft from around me pots. Eye put wurms down smornin and have been stood ere fer arf hour wiv the burds landing on the fence, looking around ferrabit then leaving. They want me wums but won't go ferrem while eye is stood ere. After 20 minutes eye won the battle. Eye can hear em eating me wurms. Also taking some to the bush where tweets start appearing from. Eye is training em not to be scared of me. Gorra blurred pic of one on me fence. They is house sparrows.

My Old Landy · Jun 25, 2023

Morning it is hot already lol

Turktowner · Jun 25, 2023

Mowed the lawns early before it got too ot. I know the neighbours was already upt, one was coughing her lungs up inna garding (permanently sucking on a vape). That'll do for today.

Stanleysteamer · Jun 25, 2023

kevstar said:
I dont mind talking to anyone about it, I never done anything wrong why should I hide it same goes with my Cancer, ive spoken
to loads of people & they say they would keep it to themselves. I just say how it is & have a bit of banter with it.

I am on a forum for my prep school, and there, after I left, a member of staff who started working there turned out to be a peado.
The harm he did was amazing. Obviously the kids were in dorms and the kiddy-fiddler lived in so he could persuade them to do stuff easily.
Th number of blokes on there who have been ruined by him, for some it led to a life of crime and jail, others were so traumatised that even their wives are on there asking for help.

So I think you are dead right to talk about what happened to you as I am sure it eases things as, as you say, you did nothing wrong. The repression of stuff like this does massive amounts of harm. TBH it sounds as if it did you little harm at all.
But the mental effects of coercive control or simple wife beating can be terrible, as I know being married to woman whose ex was a total poopy member of barstaff. Not only does she still suffer but I have to suffer along with her! She knows it isn't my fault but that doesn't always help.

Like probably quite a few on here I have met quite a few girls/women who have been raped and again the ones who repressed it were the ones who ended up needing serious therapy.

I'm not a psych but I think it might be called "talking therapy"? Doubtless those in the know will come on here and put me right, as usual!!

WhiskyLassie · Jun 25, 2023

Stanleysteamer said:
I am on a forum for my prep school, and there, after I left, a member of staff who started working there turned out to be a peado.
The harm he did was amazing. Obviously the kids were in dorms and the kiddy-fiddler lived in so he could persuade them to do stuff easily.
Th number of blokes on there who have been ruined by him, for some it led to a life of crime and jail, others were so traumatised that even their wives are on there asking for help.

So I think you are dead right to talk about what happened to you as I am sure it eases things as, as you say, you did nothing wrong. The repression of stuff like this does massive amounts of harm. TBH it sounds as if it did you little harm at all.
But the mental effects of coercive control or simple wife beating can be terrible, as I know being married to woman whose ex was a total poopy member of barstaff. Not only does she still suffer but I have to suffer along with her! She knows it isn't my fault but that doesn't always help.

Like probably quite a few on here I have met quite a few girls/women who have been raped and again the ones who repressed it were the ones who ended up needing serious therapy.

I'm not a psych but I think it might be called "talking therapy"? Doubtless those in the know will come on here and put me right, as usual!!

I've learned opening up and showing my vulnerability is a good move as potential people can't use as a weakness, the more vocal people can be about experiences can encourage others to speak up and get the needed help.

Stanleysteamer · Jun 25, 2023

Flippin 'ot ere! as it woz yessdi.
'pparently it's going to persist.
Guests gone off to see rellys so we have the rest of the day to ourselves. They finished the weeding and the weed whacking yesterday. They have been so good to us. Can't thank them enough. And they want us to stay with them again when we go back.
We are really lucky.
Do enjoy yhte sunshine peeps!

Stanleysteamer · Jun 25, 2023

WhiskyLassie said:
I've learned opening up and showing my vulnerability is a good move as potential people can't use as a weakness, the more vocal people can be about experiences can encourage others to speak up and get the needed help.

+1^

WhiskyLassie · Jun 25, 2023

My tatties and tomato plants

Turktowner · Jun 25, 2023

Herself's ex was and continues to be unworthy of oxygen, a controlling creep with a trail of damaged women in his wake. Just married his latest victim anorl, she'll wake up eventually, like the rest. It's been a decade and C is shaking all that off at last, people say she's a different woman now. I think so too.

Turktowner · Jun 25, 2023

I gots baby happlez, martoes an cherries ( the Pigwings will get the cherries I fear), the apples aren't tickly nice either but we know a donkey who dunt care. Is nice to grow edible stuff.

We put a load of our own compost on the front border, a whole bunch of martoes, a tatoe anna courgette plant have popped up. Gonna leave em be, if they is happy so is I

Stanleysteamer · Jun 25, 2023

Turktowner said:
Herself's ex was and continues to be unworthy of oxygen, a controlling creep with a trail of damaged women in his wake. Just married his latest victim anorl, she'll wake up eventually, like the rest. It's been a decade and C is shaking all that off at last, people say she's a different woman now. I think so too.

Liking for form's sake only. But really glad she is shaking it off.
Mine has been with me since 1989 and still suffers with nightmares etc. and if I do anything that could be remotely construed as controlling, like asking her for a cup of tea, (she's made me about 5 in my life with her) I get shouted at and told to "stop telling me what to do!"
My colleagues said to W when they met her, "What have you done to him? He's a much nicer bloke now!" I must have been really difficult when married to my ex. One faculty's nick name for us, as we worked together, was "Beauty and the Beast ". Once separated they got to see who the real beast was.

Wimblowdriver · Jun 25, 2023

Turktowner said:
Mowed the lawns early before it got too ot.

Same 'ere. And sprinkled a load of fertiliser over it - it was no use sitting in the bag it came in. Keep looking at me front lawn (the word lawn not indicating it is made of grass, you understand). It is in need of some tlc, 80% moss, 19% assorted weeds, 1% possibly grass. It is well down the to do list though. And its not a bad overflow car park.

WhiskyLassie · Jun 25, 2023

Stanleysteamer said:
Liking for form's sake only. But really glad she is shaking it off.
Mine has been with me since 1989 and still suffers with nightmares etc. and if I do anything that could be remotely construed as controlling, like asking her for a cup of tea, (she's made me about 5 in my life with her) I get shouted at and told to "stop telling me what to do!"
My colleagues said to W when they met her, "What have you done to him? He's a much nicer bloke now!" I must have been really difficult when married to my ex. One faculty's nick name for us, as we worked together, was "Beauty and the Beast ". Once separated they got to see who the real beast was.

Poor W.
I can understand her not wanting to feel like that again. it took Mr Whisky a long time for me to be comfortable with his hand being near my neck and face. I don't talk about what I went through often.

I will say Stan there may be tiny things that can trigger her through no one's fault (hers or yours) I wouldn't take it personally. its the fight or flight or old safety mechanism coming out. I am fiercely independent because I was always in a position where i could never be allowed to do anything for myself. Which is the control freak in the abuser and the way they would lord over me "you wouldn't have this if it wasn't for me" etc.

kevstar · Jun 25, 2023

WhiskyLassie said:
I've learned opening up and showing my vulnerability is a good move as potential people can't use as a weakness, the more vocal people can be about experiences can encourage others to speak up and get the needed help.

Well said.

kevstar · Jun 25, 2023

My Old Landy said:
Morning it is hot already lol

Lucky you tis cats n dogs here.

kevstar · Jun 25, 2023

Turktowner said:
I gots baby happlez, martoes an cherries ( the Pigwings will get the cherries I fear), the apples aren't tickly nice either but we know a donkey who dunt care. Is nice to grow edible stuff.

We put a load of our own compost on the front border, a whole bunch of martoes, a tatoe anna courgette plant have popped up. Gonna leave em be, if they is happy so is I

I know a few donkeys

Stanleysteamer · Jun 25, 2023

WhiskyLassie said:
Poor W.
I can understand her not wanting to feel like that again. it took Mr Whisky a long time for me to be comfortable with his hand being near my neck and face. I don't talk about what I went through often.

I will say Stan there may be tiny things that can trigger her through no one's fault (hers or yours) I wouldn't take it personally. its the fight or flight or old safety mechanism coming out. I am fiercely independent because I was always in a position where i could never be allowed to do anything for myself. Which is the control freak in the abuser and the way they would lord over me "you wouldn't have this if it wasn't for me" etc.

Hit the nail right on the head. I don't take it personally, but sometimes it is difficult for her to see that what she is doing is not down to me but to her ex, even her daughter, the one we see the most, has remonstrated with her pointing out that I have never harmed her, never would and have been with her far longer than her ex was.
Although he hurt her physically it was the mental harm he did which has stayed, mostly.
We are what we are and we just get on with it.
Sorry to hear about your situation. Glad you have met a decent bloke!

kevstar · Jun 25, 2023

No tinkering today got to get a room ready for new flooring so that means the whole room is getting done,

ffs I aint finished
the slabbing yet which I had plans to get some of the cuts done for the finishing touches today (tis nice n wet oot doors)

Talking of doors I got some nice wooden doors off the ship with portholes in em, I might put then on the wee shed I made
for my quad bike I say shed its rendered block thing not big just enough for the quad to go in.

Stanleysteamer · Jun 25, 2023

kevstar said:
No tinkering today got to get a room ready for new flooring so that means the whole room is getting done, ffs I aint finished
the slabbing yet which I had plans to get some of the cuts done for the finishing touches today (tis nice n wet oot doors)

Talking of doors I got some nice wooden doors off the ship with portholes in em, I might put then on the wee shed I made
for my quad bike I say shed its rendered block thing not big just enough for the quad to go in.

I remember, "porthole, starboardhole"

kevstar · Jun 25, 2023

Stanleysteamer said:
I remember, "porthole, starboardhole"

We dont want to know about your starboardhole thanks very much.

I would just like to say

Lord Hippo

Keep breathin'

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