I would just like to say

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Psst..
I had one! ;)
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I is glad I int furloughed. My day oft today was filled wif nex to bugger all..
An I is knakkid.
Retiremint int lookin so shiny right now..:oops:

Still, a bright day awaits, who knows what might happen. Speshly with the Pumpkin King still spouting burrlocks :p
Yer need ter lurn owter put yer feet tup un fall ersheep int chair. If yer strugglin fer fings yer do try startin by gerrin tup layt.
 
To The Guardian
As men are more vulnerable to Covid-19, has anyone considered allowing women and children out of lockdown first? We could run the country for a few weeks and see how things go while men stay at home baking banana bread and clapping.
Sarah Moss, Coventry


This gets my vote :)
Us boys gree holehartidly. Us laikes a bit uv cukin. Us'll luke oat us floral pinafore, be gude ter get back in touch wiv us femminin side.
 
Av gorra nuvva taybul frompt wuk ter purrup ter ide unda. The stooooopid int world be gerrin stooooopida. Ter day feels lyke er saturday even thow it be bank ollyday munday. but as eye int garn chopppin as normul it cud be sunday. Su be oat ter confirm that.
 
Tis days lyke this yer wonda if we wud av bin able ter manage int ww2 lyke they did. We can't agree ter stay ut ome un use ur fone ter worn us of infecshun. They adter run ter shelta ter save emselves. Whurls apart int same whurl.
But in those days no one would be trying to steal your identity etc. The government have been known to lose data......
 
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