I would just like to say

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Eye be gowin ter bnq if yer want some wud.

Eye be tup un brekfusted un beer bout ter shave un gerrint baf. Then eye be messin wiv me ouse larm ergen. It be raynin. Ah gorra go food choppin later. Un eye need ter pay next mumfs council tax anorl.
 
Us boys be avin ren agen. Alligators av retreeted under shed: us hopes em duzznt mekkit doan as far as chickens.
Eggses av bin scrambled. Us goan out dreckly if can find us lifeboats.
Tek care, frens.
Av yer gorrid chuks?
 
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