I would just like to say

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Gid moanin me fiends wearivver yare
Swensdi agin swavva guddun.
Eye haz gotted wun uf theythere handiroyde fingies anne orl I getes is advertismentses wot eye dunt wont!!
Izal ave ter plai wiv der fingies onnit!
 
Eye as bint ont phone ter gas board ferra service of me boiler. ffs ow ard can it be. E's offerin me water pipe cover, lectric cover un er hive. Ah said eye int gotted any bee's yet but eye may be interested int bee hive int future. He wanted ter charge fer eggstra's but eye know's it's 78 squid not 168 squid. Ow much does yer pay yerself ferra normal yearly gas boiler service?
 
£60 for a service, cash in hand. The lad what does it for me fitted a new combi boiler and re-piped the whole system a couple of years ago, to bring me pad into the 21st century. The old boiler (no, not the missus) was a massive floor standing lump of about 40 years old, which had replaced a solid fuel boiler which was in the original build. So the system had been bu66ered and bodged to its limits. Now all modern and supa warm.
 
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