I would just like to say

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My sat nav asser opshun ter choose ter go fastist root or shortist distunce. If yer go bottum ter top ov m25 ring the fastist root wud go rownd m25. Shortist distance opshun wud go frew lunnun. No toll opshun un fings like that hinda fings anorl.
Mine has greenest root!
Neva used ut. Maybee teks u down green layns!

Edit, well mebe wonz.
 
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I would try to sleep but someone’s fridge is keeping me awake.
Oh & if I knew polish I would know if some bloke is going to rip the unit off the trailer & put it up someone’s arse.(some one has dumped the trailer & disappeared... bad manners)
I do like a lively night at the services
How the fuck you guys manage to sleep in places like that and in laybys on busy roads absolutely beats seven shades of shit out of me!
 
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