slob
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i just found this on the bagdad herald web site..
It has been brought to our attention that British troops are secretly using WMD in Iraq and other deployment zones. An unnamed source in Iraq has told our reporter than the British troops are carrying deadly NBC devices hidden in their landrovers. It is thought that this devices resemble suspension bushes and are capable of unleaseing poison gases and deadly molten rubber as well as an enormus explosion that could wipe out an entire section of gravel road.
We have been told by a Trooper 'slobbo' MacGurgle that the devices first came into being when a member of the SAS was packing up for deployment behind enemy lines.
Slobbo told us that Sgt Reese 'Geordie' Cryer was told that no pinkies where available for his patrol, so being a forward thinking sort of guy he decide that if he had to E&E then it would be possible that he would come across a landrover that was only needing suspension bushes to get it mobile again.
So he took some along with him.
As it turned out he had to leggit from the jundies and after he ran out of ammo all he had left where some flares and the suspension bushes. As he was also trained in explosives he taped the flares to the bushes to give them extra weight incase he could throw them at enemy vehicles.
Geordie didn't know it at the time but these bushes are very deadly when heated and are similar to a small nuclear bomb. He threw the bushes at the enemy the first one went off with a blinding flash and large mushroom cloud. The result was that all of Saddam's army was wiped out. thus bringing about the end of the first Gulf punch up.
The British troop are now fitting these devices to all landrovers in the hope that the jundies will capture them and set light to them thus blowing the **** out of themselfs.
The head of the UN, Mr Funee Nam, has said that as these bushes/devices are readily availible to anyone with an account at Baddocks then there is nothing he can do about it. It is thought that Mr Bin Liner is keen to get his hands on some of these landrover bushes with the intent of setting fire to them in many, if not all of the worlds cities. The Americans are now planing to invade Solihull to neutralise the weapons plant and take the bushes for there own use.
The president said in a press conference that he was unsure how he felt about having such a deadly device named after him but that it would be safer in american hands as they would never dream of using such a world threating weapon. unless Mrs Noodle told him to.....
As we go to press a fax has come in stating that most vehicle manufactors are now fitting these to their car in a vain hope of beating the joy riders in Liverpool by gassing the little buggers.
Inspector Knacker of the Yard has issued a statement..in which he says that anyone caught with these deadly bombs on their vehicle will be subject to the full remit of the law and will be deported to America where they will be executed by means of molten rubber,poison gas and finally blown to kingdom come.
People in Australia will still be able to own these bushes as long as they have a drill or bench press with them at all times.
Dick O'Spanner
some where in eye rack
It has been brought to our attention that British troops are secretly using WMD in Iraq and other deployment zones. An unnamed source in Iraq has told our reporter than the British troops are carrying deadly NBC devices hidden in their landrovers. It is thought that this devices resemble suspension bushes and are capable of unleaseing poison gases and deadly molten rubber as well as an enormus explosion that could wipe out an entire section of gravel road.
We have been told by a Trooper 'slobbo' MacGurgle that the devices first came into being when a member of the SAS was packing up for deployment behind enemy lines.
Slobbo told us that Sgt Reese 'Geordie' Cryer was told that no pinkies where available for his patrol, so being a forward thinking sort of guy he decide that if he had to E&E then it would be possible that he would come across a landrover that was only needing suspension bushes to get it mobile again.
So he took some along with him.
As it turned out he had to leggit from the jundies and after he ran out of ammo all he had left where some flares and the suspension bushes. As he was also trained in explosives he taped the flares to the bushes to give them extra weight incase he could throw them at enemy vehicles.
Geordie didn't know it at the time but these bushes are very deadly when heated and are similar to a small nuclear bomb. He threw the bushes at the enemy the first one went off with a blinding flash and large mushroom cloud. The result was that all of Saddam's army was wiped out. thus bringing about the end of the first Gulf punch up.
The British troop are now fitting these devices to all landrovers in the hope that the jundies will capture them and set light to them thus blowing the **** out of themselfs.
The head of the UN, Mr Funee Nam, has said that as these bushes/devices are readily availible to anyone with an account at Baddocks then there is nothing he can do about it. It is thought that Mr Bin Liner is keen to get his hands on some of these landrover bushes with the intent of setting fire to them in many, if not all of the worlds cities. The Americans are now planing to invade Solihull to neutralise the weapons plant and take the bushes for there own use.
The president said in a press conference that he was unsure how he felt about having such a deadly device named after him but that it would be safer in american hands as they would never dream of using such a world threating weapon. unless Mrs Noodle told him to.....
As we go to press a fax has come in stating that most vehicle manufactors are now fitting these to their car in a vain hope of beating the joy riders in Liverpool by gassing the little buggers.
Inspector Knacker of the Yard has issued a statement..in which he says that anyone caught with these deadly bombs on their vehicle will be subject to the full remit of the law and will be deported to America where they will be executed by means of molten rubber,poison gas and finally blown to kingdom come.
People in Australia will still be able to own these bushes as long as they have a drill or bench press with them at all times.
Dick O'Spanner
some where in eye rack
