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I accept the position of chancellor and am overjoyed at the trust shown by other cabinet members in my honesty and intergrity. Now where's that expenses form.
Justice for all !!!.....................
- Thread starter the hooded claw
- Start date
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I accept the position of chancellor and am overjoyed at the trust shown by other cabinet members in my honesty and intergrity. Now where's that expenses form.
Datatek
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The only way you would get anything is to destroy your passport and claim political asylum
Datatek
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When I left, the DHSS wrote to me saying that I would not be entitled to any treatment from the NHS or benefits if I returned until I had been back for 12 months. They got really stroppy when I said I'd claim political asylum if I came back as that would entitle me to benefits immediatly.
sandyt
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As home secretary there will be some prison reforms all prisoners will be sterilised and have I am a C * N T tattooed oh their forehead - Gentlemen please excuse the language it is purely for demonstrative purposes and is not meant to offend as for foreign aid we can sign up for it and send them instructions on how to work I would vote strongly against sending anything useful as we would be taking away an opportunity for them to excel and learn
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I would also urge you to bring in a compulsory bacon eating law to take immediate effect. Anyone who refused to eat bacon would be immediatly deported. This of course is not meant to single out any particular part of the community but to help our impoverished pig farmers under the agricultural policy.
Datatek
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It didn't take long for the CCCP (thats the Cameron Cleg Coalition Party, not the Soviet Union
First they say that all pensioners will get £140 a week regardless of contributions. My Eastern European mate thinks it's a great idea, he's already planning to bring his parents to the UK if it happens. Should do wonders for immigration
Next they say that prisoners are to get the vote. If you are blameless and live in another European country you lose the vote. Prisoners get better treatment than us expats.
The list of stupidities goes on and on
Forgot to mention, get caught acting suspiciously in Afgahnistan/Pakistan, spend time in Guantanamo Bay, make unsustantiated claims of torture, collect a million quid. Save all your life with Equitable Life, end up with bugger all due to govenment regulatory failures, win in court, get nothing. Total alice in Wonderland
Datatek
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The Uk need to stop building luxury 5 star accommodation for offenders and start building real prisons. There are plenty of unihabited islands of the north of Scotland. No mobile phone problems there. Should be able to feed the crims for £1 per day, no need to bother with heating, single cells so no riots, 10 warders should be able to deal with a thousand prisoners no problem. Should bring the cost down from an alleged £80K per prisoner per year to about £1K.
unsubstantiated ? - i don't think there's anyone under any illusions about torture NOT occurring during their detention period, the main reason they have been offered the payout without first having a proper inquiry is because the UK and US REALLY don't want the full details of what went on there out in the open
and those so called poor Equitable Life customers weren't complaining when their pension scheme was being nicely topped up from the dividends, same as Lloyds of London investors - you'll only hear them moan when they loose money
and those so called poor Equitable Life customers weren't complaining when their pension scheme was being nicely topped up from the dividends, same as Lloyds of London investors - you'll only hear them moan when they loose money
Datatek
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I truly hope you don't have to spend your old age in poverty because politicians f***ed up.
As for torture, I think of the poor bastards who died when the jet was downed over Scotland, in the twin towers and so on. There seems to be little evidence to support the claims of torture apart from to a few. It should never happen, but then nor should suicide bombings.
Datatek
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Because the FSA failed to regulate Equitable Life and OESI taxed dividend income. When the policies were taken out, it was we were all told, a safe investment and that it was the right thing to do to look after ourselves in our old age. Of course a lot of people were not cynical enough to believe that political action or inaction would turn a safe investment into a total loss.
How are you going to support yourself when you are too old to work? Live off the state? Good luck if thats the plan, some politician will find a reason to squander more taxpayers money and to pay for it reduce your benefits.
Of course you could be one of the idle rich with a bankers bonus to live on.
the hooded claw
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NEWS FLASH*********************
New cabinate positions just announced
DATATEK ................Our FRENCH Ambassador
SEAN .....................Chief Banking Ombudsman (Making sure when we save our Pennies in the "Bank of Lindsfarne" we get a good return on em!!!)
****** ALSO JUST ANNOUNCED*******
Governmental rule No1 ......ALL Residents to drive "PROPER VEHICLES" with Large Green oval on front & rear (No Jap, Yank, French or Scanandivian Rubbish)
New cabinate positions just announced
DATATEK ................Our FRENCH Ambassador
SEAN .....................Chief Banking Ombudsman (Making sure when we save our Pennies in the "Bank of Lindsfarne" we get a good return on em!!!)
****** ALSO JUST ANNOUNCED*******
Governmental rule No1 ......ALL Residents to drive "PROPER VEHICLES" with Large Green oval on front & rear (No Jap, Yank, French or Scanandivian Rubbish)
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savings mate - and for what it's worth ave not long retired, slightly early and am avoiding the pitfalls of consumerism, and that includes greed driven investments - and i can absolutely guarantee that over my working life that i have contributed 1000s times back into the state in by way of personal and corporate taxes etc than i will ever get back - if i ever live long enough to be able to claim any
sandyt
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on the topic of supporting the farmers breakfast of bacon sarnies and beer compulsory at least once a week
as long as it's not from Denmark
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Thank you sir. I do hope certain members of the community will not be too offended and realise this is for the good of all. Those who feel they cannot obey the law will be deported as soon as London and Chester zoos have bred enough swimming Camels for transport purposes. My department suggests 10,000 deportees per Camel. Of course each deportee will be provided with a flotation breeze block at the port of embarkation.
Datatek
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Private pension contributions were my savings. 45 years of state contribuitons qualifies you for the lowest pension in western europe.
fett
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Can I be immigration minister please Mr Claw
Datatek
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fett
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Dont worry ex-pats are allowed back in, I'm gonna make some room
