GRUNT
Well-Known Member
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- 8,911
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- On the lake Geneva shoreline.
Where have you put the coal?
Anyone with a Disco and towbar
- Thread starter Lenny1969
- Start date
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Where have you put the coal?
yella
New Member
- Posts
- 15,991
i think he's got his cock stuck in the tap 
slob
Well-Known Member
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- 22,488
- Location
- Harrogate or London
what do you expect?? he hasn't got a laptop
Right, i shall explain all. And i was trying to write this last night,but got moaned at for not spending quality time with the family. So i went back donwstairs to spend quality time, and ended up watching Holby bloody City.
Stop sniggering at the back......................
Anyway, towbar.
Got to my mates in Rhyl And we started to dismantle bumper ends ,lights and bumper. Got it all off and found that the bolts were indeed loose, and extremely rusty. Also found a spanner still on one of the nuts, god knows how anyone could end up with leaving a spanner onthe nut, unless it was a half hearted attempt at tightening it.
So, we decide to renew the bolts, and i walked (walk, i ****in ask ya, disgraceful) up to coastal towbars about 300 yards away. Goes in with my bolts, and the nice lady there ( i would) says "oh yes weve got them in, no problem, you want 2". Yes please i reply. So she nips out the back and im standing there waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
15 minutes later she returns and puts the 2 bolts on the counter. there ya go she says. Thanks i say but they are wrong, too short by about half an inch. She checks just in case im lying, and agrees, and after her initial mistake goes back into the back to get 2 more correct length. (i still would despite her mistake).
5 mins later she returns with correct bolts and i thank her and go on my merry way facing the treacherous hazardous 300 yard walk again.
Gets back to car and Gaz (my mate) is sitting in his house waiting for me, i go into the hall and tell him about the lady (i would) and he agrees (he would, but not at the same time). The kettle is on so while were waiting were just milling about in the hall when we hears the tools outside clanking. Goes back out to find some spotty little herbert nosing round the tools on the floor. He spots us, picks something up and runs off down the road with something in his hand.
Now i have 2 choices here, do i let him get away with whatever he's nicked, or do i go after him. Quick decision is made followed by the comment "**** me Gaz he can run fast cant he, never mind eh". The quick decision id made to let chav boy run was based on 2 things: 1. id just walked and i dont do walking/running. 2. they weren't my tools.
So, coffee made we gets to work back on the towbar, unable to find which tool nobby chav has nicked, as they all seem intact and present.
Puts the new bolts into the bar, superb. Oh hang on, theres a sleeve not on this bolt, where is it? Nobby chav, despite being surrounded by snap on tools, had picked up a sleeve for a rusty bolt and stole it. What a tit. But then that left us with a problem, a sleeve was needed.
As were trying to work out what we have that will do the job, a look of eureka dawns on Garys face and he wander off into his house and through into his back garden. Returning 2 minutes later with a sleeve that was made for the job, but about 4 inches longer than we needed, and an extremely loud shade of blue (remember that bit, the shade of blue). He cuts it down to size, perfect, sleeve fitted, botls in, almost tightened up when i just lean over to check if everything looks ok, SNAP.
One of the bolts from the rear mounting points snaps. FFS. He looks at me with a start walking kinda look, so we whip that bolt out and the other one opposite and off i trundle back to coastal towbars to se nice lady (still would). Time is now 12.15, and they shut at 12.30 so i had plenty of time. 2 bolts please and decided to get 4 new bumper fixing bolts as well. After the wait for a few mins she returns with 3 bolts, and 3 nuts. I look confused, so does she (still would though). She smiles and goes off AGAIN to get correct bolts, returning a minute or 2 later. Thanking her, thinking to myself i deffo would, i trundle off back to Garys. Got back and the bolts were wrong, i hadnt allowed for the half inch snapped bit. Bollocks, so i jumped in Garys works van (**** off) and drove back to towbar place, just as they were about to shut. She gives me 2 other bolts ( still would) and i thank her and drive back again.
Gets back and checks new bolts, still quarter inch too small. At this point i decided i wouldnt, and would probably rather hit her with a wet kipper round the mush.
ANYWAY Gary found 2 bolts that were identical and we fitted them, tightened everything and hey ho job done. Put all the bumper back together and voila, sorted.
About an hour later Garys missus comes home, done a bit of shopping, so straight into the kitchen to put it away. She shouts Gary after a few minutes and he goes into kitchen with me, expecting the obligatory coffee, to find her staring out of the window questioning Gary. Hes standing there saying "i dunno, i cant believe it" looking into garden. What Garys missus has spotted is some lousy sod has only gone and nicked the leg from the little lads slide in the garden, thus leaving the slide to sit on an angle and rendering it useless.
I looked out in disbelief, and thought what a rotten thing to do, to steal a crucial part of a childs garden toy.
And it was a lovely extremely loud shade of blue as well.
I drank my coffee, said thanks and came home
Stop sniggering at the back......................
Anyway, towbar.
Got to my mates in Rhyl And we started to dismantle bumper ends ,lights and bumper. Got it all off and found that the bolts were indeed loose, and extremely rusty. Also found a spanner still on one of the nuts, god knows how anyone could end up with leaving a spanner onthe nut, unless it was a half hearted attempt at tightening it.
So, we decide to renew the bolts, and i walked (walk, i ****in ask ya, disgraceful) up to coastal towbars about 300 yards away. Goes in with my bolts, and the nice lady there ( i would) says "oh yes weve got them in, no problem, you want 2". Yes please i reply. So she nips out the back and im standing there waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
15 minutes later she returns and puts the 2 bolts on the counter. there ya go she says. Thanks i say but they are wrong, too short by about half an inch. She checks just in case im lying, and agrees, and after her initial mistake goes back into the back to get 2 more correct length. (i still would despite her mistake).
5 mins later she returns with correct bolts and i thank her and go on my merry way facing the treacherous hazardous 300 yard walk again.
Gets back to car and Gaz (my mate) is sitting in his house waiting for me, i go into the hall and tell him about the lady (i would) and he agrees (he would, but not at the same time). The kettle is on so while were waiting were just milling about in the hall when we hears the tools outside clanking. Goes back out to find some spotty little herbert nosing round the tools on the floor. He spots us, picks something up and runs off down the road with something in his hand.
Now i have 2 choices here, do i let him get away with whatever he's nicked, or do i go after him. Quick decision is made followed by the comment "**** me Gaz he can run fast cant he, never mind eh". The quick decision id made to let chav boy run was based on 2 things: 1. id just walked and i dont do walking/running. 2. they weren't my tools.
So, coffee made we gets to work back on the towbar, unable to find which tool nobby chav has nicked, as they all seem intact and present.
Puts the new bolts into the bar, superb. Oh hang on, theres a sleeve not on this bolt, where is it? Nobby chav, despite being surrounded by snap on tools, had picked up a sleeve for a rusty bolt and stole it. What a tit. But then that left us with a problem, a sleeve was needed.
As were trying to work out what we have that will do the job, a look of eureka dawns on Garys face and he wander off into his house and through into his back garden. Returning 2 minutes later with a sleeve that was made for the job, but about 4 inches longer than we needed, and an extremely loud shade of blue (remember that bit, the shade of blue). He cuts it down to size, perfect, sleeve fitted, botls in, almost tightened up when i just lean over to check if everything looks ok, SNAP.
One of the bolts from the rear mounting points snaps. FFS. He looks at me with a start walking kinda look, so we whip that bolt out and the other one opposite and off i trundle back to coastal towbars to se nice lady (still would). Time is now 12.15, and they shut at 12.30 so i had plenty of time. 2 bolts please and decided to get 4 new bumper fixing bolts as well. After the wait for a few mins she returns with 3 bolts, and 3 nuts. I look confused, so does she (still would though). She smiles and goes off AGAIN to get correct bolts, returning a minute or 2 later. Thanking her, thinking to myself i deffo would, i trundle off back to Garys. Got back and the bolts were wrong, i hadnt allowed for the half inch snapped bit. Bollocks, so i jumped in Garys works van (**** off) and drove back to towbar place, just as they were about to shut. She gives me 2 other bolts ( still would) and i thank her and drive back again.
Gets back and checks new bolts, still quarter inch too small. At this point i decided i wouldnt, and would probably rather hit her with a wet kipper round the mush.
ANYWAY Gary found 2 bolts that were identical and we fitted them, tightened everything and hey ho job done. Put all the bumper back together and voila, sorted.
About an hour later Garys missus comes home, done a bit of shopping, so straight into the kitchen to put it away. She shouts Gary after a few minutes and he goes into kitchen with me, expecting the obligatory coffee, to find her staring out of the window questioning Gary. Hes standing there saying "i dunno, i cant believe it" looking into garden. What Garys missus has spotted is some lousy sod has only gone and nicked the leg from the little lads slide in the garden, thus leaving the slide to sit on an angle and rendering it useless.
I looked out in disbelief, and thought what a rotten thing to do, to steal a crucial part of a childs garden toy.
And it was a lovely extremely loud shade of blue as well.
I drank my coffee, said thanks and came home
Richyborofanrich
New Member
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- Boosbeck
NOW thats a story
yella
New Member
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- 15,991
you should have phoned me len, i was about all day yesterday, i have a garage full of towbar bolts . and as for the woman in coastal, i deffo would too
