Ok - after the thrills of getting the plug out, and new gear box oil in, it appears that the oil is escaping from a hole at the bottom of the bell housing

. That would answer the mystery of where the oil has gone.
2 questions: the oil is dripping out of a threaded hole at the middle bottom of the housing.
1. Should there be a sump plug or something in there?
2. It deffo seems to be the gear oil (nice and clean, looks exactly like the oil we've just put in) - presumably this points to a seal having gone between the clutch and the gearbox?