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Thanks! I’ll see if any of my kit can deal with it. I say! Above and beyond, my dear chap! Many thanks.

Mike Leigh’s reportedly marvellous film about the relationship between Gilbert & Sullivan. Never seen it but would love to, must have been a tempestuous combo!

uv coarse. Tastes inverted.

Twuz juss anuvva fing as em ztole vrum us. We ad mines tu, yer know!

Mornin volks, Be dull a wet tudai zo it be wudstove and spannel dai. Mebbee zum kookin ledder. An Stan, be cream on vurst. Tis physics. Stops jam runnin off.

I just have a Keir Starmer doll.

That be what us need, a fellow conspiritor!

Mornin orl, a bit dull doan yer but no excuse fer duin nort. Mrs DG is orft geddin us dugs clipped and nails dun zo bedder get sumpfing visible dun afore her comes back. Tis orl smoke and mirrors bud bess geddit dun!

Mornin volks, Tis boodivul doan yer in Deb'n wiv braight zun an nod tu cold. Pudding nu vipers on us Yeti tudai wot zhud be lars fing avore winter arrives properlaike. Off tu osspiddle agen ledder on, twud be gude tu fink em can zort oat us swollen veet zo us ken ged back tu wurk. can't wurk in...

Mournin orl. Be drai agen, us boys avvin a ressvul dai cus SWMBO be ohm. Uss’l top up woodstove an avva doaz wile er be oat wiv dugs…..

See the gp, lay it on really thick and get on to allopurinol. You must be gout-free for a month before you start. Until then, paracetamol & codeine with ibuprofen will take the edge off it. My problem is that I can’t use ibuprofen tablets because I’m on chemotherapy and the combo isn’t good. My...

Massive sympathy for the gout. Get on top of it as soon as possible. I left it rather late!

Adda labradorian aboat twenny yers back wot et three boxes uv Thorntons posh choclits oavernaight wiv no ill effects. Mid yew, that wuz the wun what survived half a drum of slug pellets anorl. Miracle dug!

Mourning orl. Be drai doan yer. Us dugs woak us up at 5 zo bit nakkerd. Us zee annuva livvium battry plant av gone up in zmoke up yonder in Erryfordzhyre zo that’s a few moor silent killers on hold.

Just don’t leave it somewhere warm and cosy…..

Mornin volks. Be yu urly fer tekkin us dugs oat zo stokin stoav an mekkin moor coffee. Back later…..

Arvter nune orl, ope yer orl avvin a gude dai (notwithstanding the merkin reesult).

Us boys av nivva achieved that, an sum uvvus nuts be tight ‘uns. Open endids much easier. Most unbustable spanner us av be a 10-13mm swan neck ring looted vrum a Lada Niva. Awesome toolkit.

Us boys wooden drink Doombore iffy twas last fake beer on Urf. Yer can buy it ennyware ont planet an it allus tastes dull an borin. Why drink that stuff (Yank owned anyway) when us av GT Ales wot be imaginative an local?

Thanks for the love, you folks. Now to recover some strength and get back to work. Me brane is mush so it needs straightening out!!