Stuck in a Ditch near Leamington Spa. Help?!

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Here's the some pics. I fully accept that I'm a massive idiot and that was a stupid thing to try. But I don't know anyone else capable of rescuing me
 

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There's one at the front to the right under the number plate but it'd be easier to use the towbar and tow it out backwards I think. I'll try again with the PM (Sorry I've never used a forum like this before)
 
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