BB, I am so very sorry for your loss.
As a police officer, I had to investigate several, very similar cases
and they still haunt me to this day, roughly thirty years later.
If what follows is inappropriate, please forgive me.
I have some experience of working alongside an organisation
called
https://www.cruse.org.uk/ who provide bereavement counselling.
They are the best at what they do in the UK and probably amongst the
very best in the world. If a time comes, when you or your family wants to
talk to a professional, these are the people to go to.
These are the people I'd send my own family to, or anyone else I cared about
and they're the people I'd go to myself.
You and your family are in my thoughts.