I'm looking forward to as many posts as possible.
I can do that if you'd like
Sounds like the pump's just plain not timed up if it's supplying healthy doses of fuel, but you're not even getting smoke.
All my knowledge is from 200 and 400 Rovers, along with a few other select models along the way - so I couldn't tell you how much access you're going to have on a Freelander for this job!
First job, is get the fuel pump timing cover off - about a million 8mm head bolts. Then with an 18mm socket on the crank, turn it until the hole in the pump pulley, is at around 12 o'clock.
Now remove the top piece of the main cambelt cover - you should be able to see a little white marking on the pulley, which corresponds with a marking on the plastic backing:
As Haynes would say -
"Engine removed for clarity"
If the white mark is on the other side, then the pump's been timed up 180 degrees out. To rectify this, lock the pump with the 9.5mm pin at 12 o'clock, then remove the fuel pump belt.
Now, I can image getting to the flywheel locking hole on a freelander is a massive PITA, what with the exhaust manifold and the IRD.. so here's a helpful picture of where the hole is, on an L series sat on the floor, with my locking pin pushed in:
There's no gearbox, or IRD, (as it's actually a prototype G series I've got my hands on) but it should help you identify which of the holes is the right one!
So with that in mind, hold your locking pin in the correct place, and turn the engine from the crank bolt until it slides in and locks it solid. It will only go in by approx 10mm in total.
Now you can either confirm your pump timing is right, or refit the belt to get it back to the correct timing.
Use the three 10mm head bolts on the cam pulley for fine adjustment - white smoke usually means the timing is retarded a few degrees, so move the cam pulley anticlockwise as far as the little adjustment slots will allow, and see if it helps