Mings trendy wine bar

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clivees said:
Ere Ming you got a smoking room in this ere boozer? or do we have to stand outside?
Cos My tractor burning oil and is inclined to leave little puddles on the way.
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yup clivees . . . . . .yer can smoke wot yer like int smokin room. . . .after the smokin enforcemint come inta play. . . . .it dunt matter as this is LZ un we dunt take any notice. . . .but no tratters allowed int car park as it gives the wrong image. . . .so can yer park int feild round back. . . .cos porky likes ta have er ****e in um. . . . .:eek:
 
important anouncmint. . . .LEV IS NOW TAKEN OVER SECOND IN COMMAND,er the gaylander bit. . . .lev do you swear that you will steadfastly defend the gaylanders name un help protect agaist the rufty tufty's un slitty invaders at all times, and to obey ming the merfiless un his good lookin wife mrs ming . . . .ok then thets it yer hired. . . . .now pour me er red eye un git me er packet er crocodile crisps. . . .oh yer un make it snappy. . . . .:D
 
ming said:
important anouncmint. . . .LEV IS NOW TAKEN OVER SECOND IN COMMAND,er the gaylander bit. . . .lev do you swear that you will steadfastly defend the gaylanders name un help protect agaist the rufty tufty's un slitty invaders at all times, and to obey ming the merfiless un his good lookin wife mrs ming . . . .ok then thets it yer hired. . . . .now pour me er red eye un git me er packet er crocodile crisps. . . .oh yer un make it snappy. . . . .:D
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Aye captain, nay fookin bad mouvin gayladers on my watch or ther'll be some serious abusin of the awl mightys tung lashin ray gun. Poooorkey watch im in the corner, smells o trakter! Rite, RED EYE cumin up mi lord.
 
Leviathan said:
Aye captain, nay fookin bad mouvin gayladers on my watch or ther'll be some serious abusin of the awl mightys tung lashin ray gun. Poooorkey watch im in the corner, smells o trakter! Rite, RED EYE cumin up mi lord.
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slurp. . . .diss is reet good a 2nd in command who is keen . . . . .glad i sacked mondo now :D
 
reet smokin ban is on anyone caught smokin will be fined by lev, £100 pounds un torcherd by mrs ming weffer yer pay up or not. . . .but dunt worry smokin is allowed in smokin bar jist bin errected , provided thet you only buy cigs from mings cigs co ltd sold int bar at £7 fer 10 industrial bunker busters are now banned [carty take note], bong un wacky is ok , providing yer over 21, space mutt gode ing un smokin is now barred. . . .
 
ming said:
reet smokin ban is on anyone caught smokin will be fined by lev, £100 pounds un torcherd by mrs ming weffer yer pay up or not. . . .but dunt worry smokin is allowed in smokin bar jist bin errected , provided thet you only buy cigs from mings cigs co ltd sold int bar at £7 fer 10 industrial bunker busters are now banned [carty take note], bong un wacky is ok , providing yer over 21, space mutt gode ing un smokin is now barred. . . .
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ad them postas printed up, "NAY SMOKIN, ALREET!" did em on Spar photoreplicata, 5p a pop...told the mutley lookin wench behind the counter we ad an account and legged it. ad ta peyup in the end when I went back ta get Porkey who fookin stuck im sel in the cold food chiller...costin us an extra £20 in chewed chipalatas and peperamees..Prokey u rascal! Anyhoo, NAY SMOKIN!...... Al be roond tha back lightin up if ya need us.
 
pint er tratter sludge un er red eye fer ma new rh man lev. . . .good work wiff the new signs lev . . . .like the protect un serve bit , so git behind tut bar ,barstewards ****ed agin. . . . .:D
 
yella disco said:
kinell, they let any fooker in ere now, aint that the old bloke who lived on the ghost ship until they saw sense and booted him off
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[ow very dare thee] Ghost ship sir! Rocket ship moore like. Porkey as been teechin us the ropes so ta say, can do me planetery 4 point turn on a tanna. Put yer tankets on coastas blokes, not in the Tratter and Parrot now ya know...Red eyes anyone? cubits or pownds sterlinggg only in ere...thats not smoke I can smell is it?
 
yella disco said:
oh sorry i got you confused with that old tramp that lived on the ghost ships, now i can see yer i realise yer that scruffy down and out that lives on the transpoter bridge
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Daint worry little fella, beein lonely aint no crime...someone will like ya eventually...awww bless! Happy, happy, happy
 
porky . . . .is you here boy . . . .gulp sniff . . . .i'm reet lost wiffout ole porks, jist have er ickle sniffter er red eye. . . .glug glug glug . . . .slurp hic . . . .un er nuffer , glug glug glug hic . . .parp!!!oops shorry. . . .:eek: :eek: :eek:
 
ere Minge - yu got any of that "bunker busta" red-eye?

oh - and a pint a db chaser please. Int it nice an quiet in ere? snice to wave mi leg aboot without fear:D.
 
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