Jump starting question

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Dear Ratty, don't jump straight in to the old defrag solution. Try using Norton Utilities on the onboard computer first. Or maybe you have a virus or something, try McAfee Antivirus. i was surprised to find out that the japanese have now developed a method of spreading diesel variant viruses (DVV) over the radio (FM of course), so another solution might be to upgrade your wireless to the new fangled digital thingy.
 
LundRover said:
Dear Ratty, don't jump straight in to the old defrag solution. Try using Norton Utilities on the onboard computer first. Or maybe you have a virus or something, try McAfee Antivirus. i was surprised to find out that the japanese have now developed a method of spreading diesel variant viruses (DVV) over the radio (FM of course), so another solution might be to upgrade your wireless to the new fangled digital thingy.
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I think I can rule out the wireless fault as my gramaphone still uses wax discs and the ballast gets some exercise to keep the landy sitting level. Is it possible that the records could be faulty and causing the problem or is it more likely that the missus is to blame?:confused:
 
ratty said:
If your missus is anything like mine it's hard to turn her off after she's started up. I've even tried stalling her to stop her but that doesn't seem to work.:eek:
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One way to stop wives as a last resort is to plug their exhaust pipes.

CharlesY
 
I have just fitted a snorkel to my wife's exhaust pipe. Somehow this produced a massive gain in smiles per gallon, but I don't know why. Can anybody enlighten me?

p.s. PastMaster, your'e right about Norton only working on bikes. I shuda known anyway 'coz I bought mine from Halfrauds.
 
Daer jonnyecosse,
we've all had a bit of fun for the past hour or so, but did you ever get an answer (thay you accept) to your question about (+ve to battery or to chassis - diesel or petrol why different in manual)?? Cos I can't think of any difference at all.
 
one point that no one has mentioned about this neggy cable to ingun is that it should be connected last so the spark, if any is far away from the battery. that way it only sets the fuel lines alight and not explode the battery.
 
redhand said:
I dint think they had kids outta their eggsauce? but then I allus knew them pasty munchers were weird :eek:
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Only chickens (birds in general) do that.

Ladies separate the functions.

Women were obviously designed by a God who has a degree in civil engineering.

Only a civil engineer would route the sewers either side of the recreation area.

CharlesY
 
CharlesY said:
That little story is a classic description of the failure somewhere of a main connection to or from the battery, probably a main earth lead or connection, possibly of course one of the earth straps between chassis and engine. You can't have too many of those.

Your battery may not be as fooked as you think. Try this one day - First take off the NEG battery terminal and clean the post and inside the terminal. Apply a little coppergrease, and fit it back tightly. Now take a big strong black jumplead and connect one end really firmly to the chassis and then the other end to the negative battery terminal.
Now try to start the engine.

Don't use a RED jumplead for this as it will only work with positive electricity. The BLACK lead will handle negative electricity just fine.

CharlesY
Click to expand...

Na it's just a fooked battery ;) ive already got 4 earth cables on there/cleaned contact points ect ect, although i did use an old old starter cable as an extra earth straight from the battery to the starter bolts :eek:
and it was RED :doh: no wonder the warp bubble burst :whoosh:

It's just what the mechanic i work with allways says (you know, 62 been at it since he was 14 and all that :D), earth to the block will bypass the dead battery and start the engine instead ? so that's what i do when jumping a dead flat battery i allways do the last conection to the running car as well cos of his storeys of dead batterys exploding, germans bombing his mums chip shop ect ect (i still can't buy chips with out breaking out into a cold sweat) :mil80:
so no truth in it then :confused:
 
bortaf said:
Na it's just a fooked battery ;) ive already got 4 earth cables on there/cleaned contact points ect ect, although i did use an old old starter cable as an extra earth straight from the battery to the starter bolts :eek:
and it was RED :doh: no wonder the warp bubble burst :whoosh:

so no truth in it then :confused:
Click to expand...

Well no wonder it's causing trouble!

You are trying to get black NEGATIVE electricity to go up a red POSITIVE cable!

What are you thinking about?

Good grief ....

CharlesY
 
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