Trewey
Cockernee, Pasty munchin bastid.
- Posts
- 20,088
- Location
- Kernow - Near England
1. Fit your house with a sophisticated security system, including smoke detectors.
2. Have your security system monitored by a Security company. The arrangement being that if the system is triggered, they phone the house. If there is no reply, or if the person answering doesn't give the code word, they contact the relevant emergency service - Fire or Police.
3. Go away on business for 3 weeks, leaving your 93 200TDi backed up to the Garage Door.
4. After you get home, wait till your Doris is taking a bath, with loud music playing (so she won't hear the alarm or the phone).
5. Go through the Utility Room, where there's a smoke detector, into the Garage, leaving the connecting door open.
6. Open the Garage door, start up your Landy (big cloud of smoke from the exhaust) and drive off for a spin for half an hour.
7. When you come back, there will be a Fire Engine outside your house and your Doris will be very pleased that her ablutions were rudely interrupted by a Fireman, in full Breathing Apparatus, bursting through the bathroom door - not!
8. The neighbours will snigger a lot too.
You have been warned!
(I'm still sleeping in the spare room, 3 days later).
2. Have your security system monitored by a Security company. The arrangement being that if the system is triggered, they phone the house. If there is no reply, or if the person answering doesn't give the code word, they contact the relevant emergency service - Fire or Police.
3. Go away on business for 3 weeks, leaving your 93 200TDi backed up to the Garage Door.
4. After you get home, wait till your Doris is taking a bath, with loud music playing (so she won't hear the alarm or the phone).
5. Go through the Utility Room, where there's a smoke detector, into the Garage, leaving the connecting door open.
6. Open the Garage door, start up your Landy (big cloud of smoke from the exhaust) and drive off for a spin for half an hour.
7. When you come back, there will be a Fire Engine outside your house and your Doris will be very pleased that her ablutions were rudely interrupted by a Fireman, in full Breathing Apparatus, bursting through the bathroom door - not!
8. The neighbours will snigger a lot too.
You have been warned!
(I'm still sleeping in the spare room, 3 days later).
