ratty
I'm not special I'm limited edition
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I had a text from a work colleague of mine last night saying that he'd overheard some guys talking about going to have a pop at my landy.
I flung my clothes on, put my phone on silent and told the missus that if I wasn't back in 10 mins or if I hadn't rung her in that time she should dial 999. I then legged it to the landy. Unfortunately I got there just as a bloke stuck a hammer through my drivers window. The look on his face was pretty priceless when I shouted 'OI ****ER' at him from about 5 foot away. We then had a wee bit of a scuffle where said arse bandit repeatedly attempted to insert said hammer into my skull. After a couple of near missus with the claw end of the hammer I decided that it might be best to step aside and allow him past which resulted in me doing a years exercise chasing the ****wit down the road. I was trying to ring plod while giving chase. Unfortunately this enabled him to start pulling away from me, even more so as I kept getting the annoying 'beep beep beep' instaed of the ringing sound I wanted. At the end of the road the bloke decided to dart into a dark carpark. At this point I thought it unwise to proceed in case of an ambush.
I then waited 5 mins for plod to arrive. The missus had heard the alarm go off and then the shouting in the ensuing fight. She dialled 999 and then hot footed it to the landy.
Unfortunately the bastid wasn't found last night.
On the plus side I've tracked the 3 blokes (I'm glad I dint go into that carpark after the one
) down. After a bit of gentle 'persuasion' They have now decided that they should replace my window and write my missus a nice letter telling her how sorry they are that they attacked the landy and how they won't be doing it again.
I'll post the piccy of said windowless window up when the ballast brings the fecking camera back home.:doh:
I flung my clothes on, put my phone on silent and told the missus that if I wasn't back in 10 mins or if I hadn't rung her in that time she should dial 999. I then legged it to the landy. Unfortunately I got there just as a bloke stuck a hammer through my drivers window. The look on his face was pretty priceless when I shouted 'OI ****ER' at him from about 5 foot away. We then had a wee bit of a scuffle where said arse bandit repeatedly attempted to insert said hammer into my skull. After a couple of near missus with the claw end of the hammer I decided that it might be best to step aside and allow him past which resulted in me doing a years exercise chasing the ****wit down the road. I was trying to ring plod while giving chase. Unfortunately this enabled him to start pulling away from me, even more so as I kept getting the annoying 'beep beep beep' instaed of the ringing sound I wanted. At the end of the road the bloke decided to dart into a dark carpark. At this point I thought it unwise to proceed in case of an ambush.
I then waited 5 mins for plod to arrive. The missus had heard the alarm go off and then the shouting in the ensuing fight. She dialled 999 and then hot footed it to the landy.
Unfortunately the bastid wasn't found last night.
On the plus side I've tracked the 3 blokes (I'm glad I dint go into that carpark after the one
) down. After a bit of gentle 'persuasion' They have now decided that they should replace my window and write my missus a nice letter telling her how sorry they are that they attacked the landy and how they won't be doing it again.I'll post the piccy of said windowless window up when the ballast brings the fecking camera back home.:doh:
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