Facelift Handsfree/stereo mute wiring

Hi,
Had loads of useful info off here in the past, but I can't find the answer from searching.

I'm fitting a Parrot hands free to a 2004 facelift TD4 with Visteon FL5 CDX6 6CD dash multichanger.
I've got the (unbranded) ISO adapter lead connected http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/250759221783?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1439.l2649

The hands free sound comes through the car speakers as it should, cutting out the sound from the stereo. The problem is that the CD doesn't pause and the head unit display doesn't change to say 'phone'.

Does anybody know which is the telemute wire for this head unit or in the vehicle loom?
There are several unused wires in the ISO adapter but I've tried earthing each one and not had any joy yet.
Thanks,
Matt

dont earth them yu can blow the headset .

try earthing each wire through a 5w bulb and check the display with each wire, but yu have said that it does telemute.

Yeah, I was using a bulb.
The point is that the sound comes through but the head unit doesn't pause the cd! Might sound pretty minor but I'd like it to work perfectly.