Dear Santa...

Zorro587 · Nov 17, 2014

Please can I have a new friend who lives in/near Chesterfield who might own diagnostic equipment and be open to bribes of coffee/tea/beer/vodka/fags or cold hard cash to come and tell my P38's vehicular fortune.

Thanks

Nige
Aged 51 and a half

PS. And a Johnny 7 wouldn't go amiss if you have one too.......

Bladerunner919 · Nov 18, 2014

Why not just ask for a Nanocom and be self-sufficient!

odyssey · Nov 18, 2014

Dear Nige - as you may know this is getting on for my busy time of year, so I don't really have the time for guessing games. I may have a 'friend' somewhere in the warehouse that may fit the bill, but I have to be careful - if he turns out to be not suitable I could end up getting sued under the trades description act (again).

So - what particular flavour is your faulty P38? and although the nanocom is pretty good, I'm fairly sure it doesn't do fortune telling, so it would be useful to know what it is that ails your rangie.

Santa

E&OE

PS What the hell's a Johnny 7?

sassanach · Nov 18, 2014

Fancy not knowing what a johnny seven is young whippersnapper!!!!!

td5nut · Nov 18, 2014

why was the object called "johnny 7" then hmm?

odyssey · Nov 18, 2014

"young whippersnapper"

Wow thanks! (I'm 64)

Just Googled it, I was 14 when they first came out in 1964, so was too old for toy guns, I was busy with my first drum kit then . . .

A

odyssey · Nov 18, 2014

I did however, know what a 7" johnny was though . . .

Zorro587 · Nov 20, 2014

Dear Odyssey...er, I mean Santa. There aren't any particular woes that have raised their respective heads as I type and that in itself is the thing that made me write my list.
Simply put, I have no faith in the previous owner of my 4.0 nor in anything that he said has been done with the car.
I've the ability to spot and fix obvious bolt-off-bolt-on stuff, but I'd like a crystal ball to potentially foresee anything that might remain bothersome yet hidden.

Though I have got an SRS Fault showing on the dash.....

Nige

PS. And for those who don't know Johnny Seven OMA 7 Topper " TOYS"#03 Rare Shadow Box Original Gun Complete Set | eBay

Datatek · Nov 20, 2014

Zorro587 said:
Dear Odyssey...er, I mean Santa. There aren't any particular woes that have raised their respective heads as I type and that in itself is the thing that made me write my list.
Simply put, I have no faith in the previous owner of my 4.0 nor in anything that he said has been done with the car.
I've the ability to spot and fix obvious bolt-off-bolt-on stuff, but I'd like a crystal ball to potentially foresee anything that might remain bothersome yet hidden.

Though I have got an SRS Fault showing on the dash.....

Nige

PS. And for those who don't know Johnny Seven OMA 7 Topper " TOYS"#03 Rare Shadow Box Original Gun Complete Set | eBay

What year is your car? If it's post 99, it will have side airbags fitted in the seats, a common problem is the connectors under the seats coloured yellow, unplugging and replugging often fixes the problem. Otherwise the flexible coupler behind the steering wheel.

Zorro587 · Nov 20, 2014

Hi Datatek, its a '96 so no seat airbags.

Think the steering wheel airbag may be at fault as I'm pretty sure someone's had the wheel off (not centred when the wheels are; indicators self-cancel - too early one way, too late the other, and the instrument binnacle doesn't marry up with dash top)...

Datatek · Nov 20, 2014

Zorro587 said:
Hi Datatek, its a '96 so no seat airbags

In that case, low battery voltage or the rotary coupler are the most likely causes.

odyssey · Nov 21, 2014

OK Nige - my records indicate that you've been a good boy so far this year, so I'm inclined to grant your wish for a friend with a nanocom, (although you've still not told me whether it's a gems or a thor, I can only help if it's a gems).

You can forget about a Johnny 7 though, I'm contractually obliged by the EU

to report all non PC requests, and the bloody paperwork involved is unbelievable . . . (and you've not been that good anyway)

Santa

(PM sent)

Rachelkgr · Nov 21, 2014

Johnny 7??? My brother had a plastic machine gun that had a clip out handgun that was called a Johnny 7????

Zorro587 · Nov 23, 2014

Dear Santa, I knew it wasn't true that you didn't exist.

Many thanks for turning up at my door with your nanocom.

Now, who knows why my OBD socket isn't talking to Santa's nanocom that clearly works fine on his fine example of the species?

And yes Rachelkgr, that's the fellow! It's a chap thing......

Datatek · Nov 23, 2014

Zorro587 said:
Dear Santa, I knew it wasn't true that you didn't exist.

Many thanks for turning up at my door with your nanocom.

Now, who knows why my OBD socket isn't talking to Santa's nanocom that clearly works fine on his fine example of the species?

quote]
Wires corroded off the back of the connector is not uncommon or just corrosion between the connector pins.

Fergie46 · Nov 23, 2014

Datatek said:
Zorro587 said:

Dear Santa, I knew it wasn't true that you didn't exist.

Many thanks for turning up at my door with your nanocom.

Now, who knows why my OBD socket isn't talking to Santa's nanocom that clearly works fine on his fine example of the species?

quote]
Wires corroded off the back of the connector is not uncommon or just corrosion between the connector pins.

Click to expand...

Maybe, Zorro587 didn't promise to be good all next year too.

Zorro587 · Nov 23, 2014

I did, I did, I bloody did!! Promise...

Is it possible to buy OBD sockets 'new' as a kit maybe? (Found and ordered one). I checked (and changed for good measure) the fuse and all's well there but still nothing at the socket end. I am going to try and follow the wiring back from the socket too in order to check for a break in continuity. Does anyone know if there's a common area (in the engine bay for instance) where all the input wiring is still loomed together before disappearing off to their respective ECUs?

Madyaker · Nov 23, 2014

I swapped my Jonny 7 for a pigeon. ( a real one, not one of them ugly cars ) The thing buggered off as soon as its clipped feathers grew back !

ukadamwest · Nov 23, 2014

And yes Rachelkgr, that's the fellow! It's a chap thing......

Rachel's been elevated to honorary bloke

I swapped my Jonny 7 for a pigeon. ( a real one, not one of them ugly cars ) The thing buggered off as soon as its clipped feathers grew back !
Reply With Quote

I have a bridge for sale in EC1 if you're interested ?

Datatek · Nov 24, 2014

Zorro587 said:
I did, I did, I bloody did!! Promise...

Is it possible to buy OBD sockets 'new' as a kit maybe? (Found and ordered one). I checked (and changed for good measure) the fuse and all's well there but still nothing at the socket end. I am going to try and follow the wiring back from the socket too in order to check for a break in continuity. Does anyone know if there's a common area (in the engine bay for instance) where all the input wiring is still loomed together before disappearing off to their respective ECUs?

Have you got power on the OBD connector? If not check the fuse.

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