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Mourning orl. Be drai doan yer. Us dugs woak us up at 5 zo bit nakkerd. Us zee annuva livvium battry plant av gone up in zmoke up yonder in Erryfordzhyre zo that’s a few moor silent killers on hold.

Just don’t leave it somewhere warm and cosy…..

Mornin volks. Be yu urly fer tekkin us dugs oat zo stokin stoav an mekkin moor coffee. Back later…..

Arvter nune orl, ope yer orl avvin a gude dai (notwithstanding the merkin reesult).

Us boys av nivva achieved that, an sum uvvus nuts be tight ‘uns. Open endids much easier. Most unbustable spanner us av be a 10-13mm swan neck ring looted vrum a Lada Niva. Awesome toolkit.

Us boys wooden drink Doombore iffy twas last fake beer on Urf. Yer can buy it ennyware ont planet an it allus tastes dull an borin. Why drink that stuff (Yank owned anyway) when us av GT Ales wot be imaginative an local?

Thanks for the love, you folks. Now to recover some strength and get back to work. Me brane is mush so it needs straightening out!!

Technically yes but the bottled beers are getting rarer. Still some decent draught light milds from the midlands up!

Mournin volks, Chemo be oava. Still got gout but onward and upward. Be drai doan yer, lukin forrard tu a pint arvter five mumfs. Blimmin whoopee!

Dewalt battry gear be gude, but tu be honest any planer is werf its corn. Us boys godda Black an Decker wot be ad least 35 yurs ole and ee still does a gude job.

Mournin volks Be braight a sunny doan yer, no sleep lars naight zo slob in oat ont zofa ferrabit. Ort tu be cleenin Yeti but no strengff. SWMBO used it fer shootin yesdi zo be filfy: her’ll du it ledder but wud laike tu avva luke roand it.

Mornin orl. Slow start turday, us boys needin a booster battry.

Han maid buy local butcher anorl.

Turkey Ham a cranberry pie fer lunch. Life could be wurster.

Us boys av juss booked us Yeti in for 4x Vredestein Quadrac Pros. Us addum on uss Octavia an on Mrs DG's Fabia. Em seems ok zo far.

Be that a turmarter bottom leff? Iv so us boys bin duin it wrong orl these years.

Oanly iffn yer cloves is reely heavy. Laike 10 or 15 Army greatcoats.

Ee be a gurt big dam int Murrica.

Us du av an ole Dyson mains powered upright oover an ee will clean any blimmin fing. Powerful as eck wivva huge waste bin. Will clean whole house including cocker hair. But swmbo likes the batttery ones and they are as much use as a cardboard wetsuit. No power, no capacity, filters block in...

Mornin orl, Annuva wee trip tu osspiddle zmornin, herself be oat zhootin wiv dugs zo er av the Yeti. Us boys geddun in her skip, was a Fabia. Ow du wimmins av cars laike this? Be laike a feed mill. Crisspackets, digestive crumms, tangled leads. Us yeti no bloody obberadin theatre but gawd almighty.