- After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
- Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
- Why do irons have a setting for permanent press?
- How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?
- How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
- How young can you die of old age?
- Can you be arrested for selling illegal-sized paper?
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
- If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
- If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?
- If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
- If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
- If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
- If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?
- What if there were no hypothetical situations?
- Where would we be without rhetorical questions?
- Will your answer to this question be no?
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?
- Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets are dressing up as mattresses?
- If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
- Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
- If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn?
- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
- If vampires have no reflection, how come they have such neat hair?
- Do good S&M fans go to Hell?
- If swimming's such good exercise, how come whales are so fat?
- If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
- How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there?
- Could God make a burrito so hot he couldn't eat it?
- Do we make bombs better or worse?
- Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
- If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them?
- Can you learn to read from a "Reading for Dummies" book?
- If someone gives you a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go? Do you get change?
- If pro is the opposite of con, and progress is moving forward, what is congress?
- Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
- If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
- Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
- If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
- Why is it that raindrops, but snowfalls?
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed," when afterward, it doesn't work anymore?
- If a drug store is open 24 hours, why are there locks on the doors?
- If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out its nose?
- Why can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Socket be friends?
- Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if i squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
- If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation?
- Why was the Holy Roman Empire neither holy nor Roman?
- If a tree falls on a mime in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, does the mime make a sound?
- What is the speed of darkness?
- If a man washes a dish, and no woman is around to see it, did it happen?
- Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- Do three headed fire dragons have heated arguments with themselves?
- Why exactly is there a snow-globe with summer scenes?
- What do picket sign writers put on their signs when they go on strike?
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?
- Why is minimalism such a big word?
- If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back?
- What'd happen if the man took the advimil and the woman took the viagra?
- Why do ballerinas stand on their toes? Can't they just get taller women?
- Do fish get thirsty?
- If you learn from mistakes, why aren't I a genius?
- Why don't people on TV ever go to the bathroom?
- How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
- If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?
- If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
- How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
- Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
- Why do banks leave both doors open, yet they chain pens to the countertops?
- Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet soda?
- Why is there Braille on drive-through ATM machines?
- Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?
- Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
- If a building is on fire, and you make more fire, would it be considered making the fire worse or better?
- Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
- How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?