I ad 4 apples on me new apple tree an 3 ave now fell off.

But i ave also got a new victoria plum tree an it as 2 plums on him an I'm happy to report that both me plums are fine!
 
The Kergan said:
I ad 4 apples on me new apple tree an 3 ave now fell off.

But i ave also got a new victoria plum tree an it as 2 plums on him an I'm happy to report that both me plums are fine!
Click to expand...
I got kicked out of our village show for showing my plums in the handicraft marquee.
 
I won first prize in the novelty vegetable prize fer me phallic cucumber
 
GRUNT said:
I got kicked out of our village show for showing my plums in the handicraft marquee.
Click to expand...

Cud anybody tell me, if one of me plums has started to go a bit purple ave I got anything to worry about or is that normal fir this time of year.

Me plums ave been green now for a while an ave been growin.

I only noticed this at the weekend when I was standin in our back garden lookin at me plums.
 
If you display your plums on a small piece of white silk you will find that this enhances the colour and people will admire them more. You could carefully arrainge a small amount of undergrowth round them to give them a more natural look.
 
Try not to get oil on your plums they're a bugger to keep hold of if you do.
 
Reminds me of a story in Viz years ago with Finbar Saunders.

"Remember to feel the greengrocers plums, ask Mrs smith if her melons are firm, and don't forget to ask the fishmonger if he's got crabs"

Many severe beatings later...
 
fs, Grunt - this is LZ - Silk! be lucky to find a dirty dishcloth in here
Click to expand...
I wuz leaving it open for someone to mention wearing wimmins underwear thought it might get a laff, but the comedy timing has been lost now.
 
Ooh removing nurses uniform after a sweaty session.........hang on are we in the anything goes bit?
 
anyone know where i can get hold of some camo netting fer to go over the top of me best jamaician tomato plants?
 
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