I completely understand what your saying with lots of rubbish . But this fault might become more common than you think, I’m told that if battery voltages drop them it bricks the car,
Normally low battery voltage will put the the JCB in "CRASH MODE", which will shut down major vehicle systems, put the hazards on, pop the door locks, kill the fuel pump, and apply the parking brake.
However the CRASH status won't stop the vehicle from being started, once the ignition has been cycled. An explanation of this is in the owners handbook of the Freelander 2, which is the vehicle that the Evoque is based on.
SDD is capable of running a full diagnostic on all systems, and will also remove any relevant crash status codes from the vehicle. I removed crash status from my FL2, and another FL2 owned by a neighbour.
if a cheaper mongoose cable is used it will also do this and if the procedures of programming isn’t carried out to the dot it will also do this so hopefully it comes in handy for someone else.
I use a Mongoose and a dubious copy of SDD to do everything on the Freelander 2, and had no problems so far.
I had an issue with a misfire on mine, and when checking the wiring to the ECM, I found that it had the wrong ECM installed. It started just fine, so it had clearly been configured to the vehicle, however it wasn't correct as it was a "stop-start" ECM, so flagged a communication code relating to a the not installed battery condition monitor.
Using my Mongoose lead and copy of SDD, I was able to run a routine to replace the ECM with a second hand correct ECM (LR say this isn't possible), but was easy to do, however it does require the use of an additional power supply for the vehicle, as battery voltage is critical when any programming operation is being performed.
Unfortunately were still learning about these complex vehicles, especially where the intricacies of the electronic systems are concerned.
However from my diagnostic experience, it's best to start from the beginning. Make battery voltage is above 12.5 Volts while diagnostics are being done.
Allow SDD to run a full vehicle diagnostic, and investigate each code in turn before moving to the next next. Avoid replacing modules unless you knew they are faulty, as randomly replacing modules often causes more issues than it solves.
Can you post all the codes, including the sub codes, so we can look them up?