hello man, i have a series three LR painted red; yellow and green. man i tell you i was running out of money to buy ma weed what with the price of motion lotion these days.
so being a forward thinking dopehead i thought maybe i could run me wheels on weed oil.. after months of refinment i now got de way to make de oil from de weed. ah tell you man its just grand.
when john law pulls me and finds ma stash ah just tell him its me spare fuel . one other benifit from it is that no one tail gates you, for some weird reason they all slow down and in some cases get out their cars, rush into the nearest shop, where they buy a **** load of mars bars.
ma bitch thinks it great too! she has taken to sitting on the tail gate and practicing her breathing excercises.
none of me mates want to ride up front with me either .they prefer to either run along behind or get towed along on their skateboards.
once while waiting at de lights ma bitch fell asleep and ended up on the front of a vee dubya camper, where she started to munch on what she thought was a giant lickreece do-nut.
am gonna do some tests in a deesil soon so al let y'awl know how it goes.
this is jamacian bob signing out...

Now you just need to get a massive hydroponics set up, say in the loft or garage (you could even get yourself a few acres of polytunnels).
Then you can grow your own fuel and as an added bonus you don't have to buy the weed for personal use...

Hey maybe you could even get a grant for sustainable energy...

hello my name is MR Horsetrumpet. I am a lay preacher and part time school master for young boys. In my spare time i am also a landrover enthusiast. The reason I have joined this forum is two fold.
One..I will like to exchange ideas and knowledge about all things to do with landrover.
Two.. I feel this forum lacks moral guidance, more so now that this chap Jamaican Bob has arrived.
so in my capacity as lay preacher i will fight the good fight to have all these drug users condemmed to the firey pit. All of you sinners, drug takers and gaylander owners be aware, judgement day cometh and thee shall have to tally up with the big man.
Its not too late for the gaylanders to part with the vehicles of satan and purchase a real decent, moral ,law abiding, proper landrover. i say unto you taketh thee wheels of hell and banish them to the pit that shall be know as 'the scrappy'
And to you drug takers and other abusers of your bodies, put down your bong and pick up the good book. start at the first chapter and don't stop untill you reach readers wives, opphs! wrong book.
Give unto those with no knowledge of the mighty landrover all the knowledge that you behold, and giveth way with the taking of the urine. No more shall ye slag off those with no homour or those that taketh to searching upest there own backest passage for enlightenment. Yea! give freely of the knowledge ye hasest in thy head and no more treat those thickest bastardos withest the contempt they deserve.
So go boldlyest forward and wavest atest all other believers in the almighty landrover.


yea! thou my doors rattle and the exhaust clangs
i will never set you aside for a toyota landscraper
i will fix thee with the holy hammer of god
and the duct tape of st. wingy


yea! thy black smoke from dees of hell shall emit from the tailpipe
and the water of cooling shall ****est all over the deck
all our weekends we shall givest up
we shall fix you and repair you for ever more


for thy is the landrover
thee smelly green thing
withest more leaks than the welsh guards on st david's day
we worship you at the alter of st snapest onest


there by endest the sermon for today

ffs - we'll have Anton LaVey signing in next...

ah! mr coe you have invoked the secret incantation, ffs,
what is it you wish of me?
i can fix your landy so it never breaks down again,
i could make your computor virus free for ever,
i could get you laid(possibly),
i could enpower you to be able to play great blues guitar
i could even let you have the vast knowledge of the one they call the slob
all these thing , and more will cost you one soul
or some whitebait and two cod

Hey up Anton. I wondered when you would turn up? Hows Beelzebub? Did he get home OK after the last night out? He never could take his ale.



Any how d'you remember me.................................................. GRUNT THE ****........................................ HA HA HA AHA......................................... Course you do how could you forget the "1997 Grand Tiddly Wink Knock Out" Did I beat you, HA, take a look at your headstone sunshine.

anton lavey said:

what is it you wish of me?

Click to expand...

Just give me back that Sooty video I lent you