In message <4rtvs9Fsic6aU1@mid.individual.net>
"Lee_D" <newsgroupNOSPAM@NOSPAMlrproject.com> wrote:
> Ian Rawlings <news06@tarcus.org.uk> uttered summat worrerz funny about:
>
> > Article has now been updated, title now reads "Polluting cars face
> > rise" and the only reference to 4x4s is as follows;
> >
> > "The daily charge for vehicles in carbon emissions band G, which
> > includes some 4x4s, is to rise to 25 from 2009."
> >
> > I hope someone got a kick in the arse for that one! At least they
> > updated it, they're not as crap as some media outlets.
>
> It's clear to me we need a recognised religion.... most of us preach to the
> "Oh please no god" , or the more regular term "come off you f**k**g b*s*a*d
> heap of ****", on Saturdays and Sundays... and the respective workshop
> manuals must be our bible....."Thou shalt not jack without an axle stand"
> etc etc....
>
<Snip>
>
> Lee D
>
>
I've already got my religion, founded by Our Lord Wilkes at the
Amsterdam Motor Show in 1949....... and I can safely say, with
possible exception of the Seikhs, it's the only religion that
doesn't give a stuff about any other one, and has never started
a war (outside news groups). Every day is worship day, and
prayer is continual - with emphasis on times when keys are
turned in ignitons - so, in our multi-cultural society, I can
have any and every day of the week off by religious right as
I see fit.
Setting fire to BWM's is the ultimate offering, and is
exempt form all Health & Safety Rules, just like halall meat,
though we do insist on removing any occupants these days,
which is a shame as the ceremony was origianly intended to
improve road safety.
Our religious garb is overalls, liberally doused with
EP90, brake fluid, anti-freeze and any other combustable
material that takes our fancy. No one is allowed to object,
'coz its religeous garb - they just better hadn't complain
or we'll get the Police onto them. They can always clean
their carpets later.
Our highight of the year is know as "The Nationals". This is
where the masses gather for a weekend of celebration, and
getting as ****ed as it is possible to do on cheap crap
"event" beer. The culimination is the "Sacrifice of the Motors",
where our more energetic members seek enlightenment, and Sectioning,
by driving their religious icons (that they have usually spent
6 months getting ready in cold, dark religious places, known by
outsiders as "sheds") as fast as possible round a totally
improbable circuit. The winner, or more accurately survivor,
can, sometines, reach Nirvhana, and enter the gates of Load Lane.
We don't have formal places of worship, other than "parts shops",
and we can often be seen of Saturday afternoos cleansing our
souls by sniggering at Suzuki Vitara owners in shopping centre
car parks.....
Christ, this is good suff........
Richard
--
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www.radioparadise.com - Good Music, No Vine
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