Hi all. Thanks for your very helpful replies (and for moving it to the right thread). Well, some were helpful, others not so much, but still hugely entertaining nonetheless. I'll have a go at those things you have suggested, the stuff about fixing the landy that is

I'm in Earlsfield which is between Wimbledon, Clapham and Wandsworth. If anyone knows of a good independant landy repair place in South London or Surrey, that would also be good to know as I'm probably not going to get very far by myself.

There used to be a fella who had a workshop near Mitcham Station who was good. Not sure if he's still there though as I moved away from Tooting twenty years ago.