If it works when the relay is forcibly made by hand then it has to be the coil side of the relay has insufficient volts to it, or an HR earth limiting the current through the coil.
As the OP says he can only see 4v on the terminal it has to be the wiring to the relay coil surely?
As the OP says he can only see 4v on the terminal it has to be the wiring to the relay coil surely?