Bastid pig, always trying to undermine me.
When I find it I am gonna kick its hide, greased it earlier and its fekked off.

But yer can’t do that. Mans best friend is a dog. A tratterer’s best friend (apart from rust proofing chemicals) is a pig. Yer has to look after yer pig un make sure it’s happy in life. That dun’t mean cooking it, or other similar sounding acts. Yer has to care for yer pig un look after it. Clean out it’s bedroom regular. Feed it a healthy balanced diet. Take it for walks in the park. And let it ride wiv yer in yer tratter. Occasional treats too. Like taking yer pig go karting. A pig is an important member of yer family.