Hippo

Hippo

Lord Hippo
Have been on the tratter forum fer a few days reading their freds. Some might say a sacrifice to far, but that’s the only way I could think of ter try ter understand the durdy ole bastids. All this talk of tratters being betterer got me wondering. What faults do tratters have? And are they really different to Freelanders?

I can confirm tratters have the following faults/faulty parts:

turbo’s, steering, bushes, bearings, master cylinders, leaking sunroofs, diff’s, transfer box, gearbox, wiper motor, locks, clutch, oil leaks (of which there is plenty), tracking, fan belts, gear change, engine starting, engine cutting out, loss of engine power, hgf, brakes, alternator, chassis protection, wheel nuts, steering pumps, water leaks, electrical wiring, lights, eggsource, air con, key fob, clanking, knocking, drive shafts…

So as much as they’d like us to believe different, Freelanders int much different to tratters, apart from they’re little problem wiff rust. Something that Freelanders dun’t suffer wiff. The one common theme is that both Freelanders and tratters are land rovers. :)
 
Hippo said:
I can confirm tratters have the following faults/faulty parts:

turbo’s, steering, bushes, bearings, master cylinders, leaking sunroofs, diff’s, transfer box, gearbox, wiper motor, locks, clutch, oil leaks (of which there is plenty), tracking, fan belts, gear change, engine starting, engine cutting out, loss of engine power, hgf, brakes, alternator, chassis protection, wheel nuts, steering pumps, water leaks, electrical wiring, lights, eggsource, air con, key fob, clanking, knocking, drive shafts…
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HGF!!??? gosh! more in common than they dare to admit! :eek:

thanks for taking one for the team Hippo :cool:

(glad you got out alive!)
 
Streetlander said:
HGF!!??? gosh! more in common than they dare to admit! :eek:

thanks for taking one for the team Hippo :cool:

(glad you got out alive!)
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I wiped me feet on the way out. To be fare to um, they did advise that themselves. hgf int as popular in the durdy tratter boy buscuit tin section, as it is over here. :eek:
 
Morning Hippo, you Honorary Durdy Old Tratter Boy You :welcome2::welcome2:;);););), bet you kept that quiet around here:p:p:p:p

Fenders don't have 'Leaking Sunroofs' it's a safety device to prevent you dropping off at the wheel, every so often a couple of drips of freezing water down the back of your neck keeps you alert.;)
Fenders don't have 'Oil Leaks' they are simply marking their territory, so everyone knows "A durdy ole tratter boy lives here".;)
Faulty lock on a Fender:confused::confused::confused::confused:, we're supposed to have locks, whatever next:doh:;).
A lot of our 'chassis protection issues' are as a result of going onto damp grass to tow Gaylanderers to safety after they haz got themselves stuck, that damp grass can be a bugger;), and has even been known to make doors fall off:D:p:p:p:p.
 
......... I didn't know Tratters had a gearbox, always thought they were welded in 1st gear!

....... also didnt know they had brakes, just thought they rolled to a halt when their electrics died :p

........ air con!??? rolling down ones window does not classify as air conditioning.;)

.......... turbos!!?? I bet they're those chinese whistle things they stick on there eggsauce, to make the appropriate sound

keep up the good work Hippo I bet theres more treasures to be unearthed. :cool:
 
Streetlander said:
..... ahhhhh but do the vents blow cool air on a hot day? (when you're not moving) :scratching_chin:
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Oh now your just being picky:doh::doh::doh:

Hang a trout, have you got a cool setting on your 12v hairdryer, and can I borrow it :confused::cheer2::cheer2::cheer2:
 
Streetlander said:
My hairdryer is in the shop getting fixed, got mud in it somehow. Hippo!!!:mad:
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I hope the mud didn't get anywhere near your doors, the moisture in it could cause your doors to fall off, and if there was any quantity of it you might need a Tratter to tow you to the safety of the tarmac :p:p:p:p:p:p:p;););)
 
Grimmer said:
I hope the mud didn't get anywhere near your doors, the moisture in it could cause your doors to fall off, and if there was any quantity of it you might need a Tratter to tow you to the safety of the tarmac :p:p:p:p:p:p:p;););)
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no fear of getting near mud, mines strictly for the streets, atm, I know that dont sit well with most, but each to their own.
 
Streetlander said:
no fear of getting near mud, mines strictly for the streets, atm, I know that dont sit well with most, but each to their own.
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How on earth did your hairdryer get damaged then:mad::mad::mad: Did a nasty durdy Tratter boy drive by flinging mud everywhere while you were drying your flowing locks :confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

:hysterically_laughi:hysterically_laughi
 
Grimmer said:
How on earth did your hairdryer get damaged then:mad::mad::mad: Did a nasty durdy Tratter boy drive by flinging mud everywhere while you were drying your flowing locks :confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

:hysterically_laughi:hysterically_laughi
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yes my electric window got stuck and a big clod struck me dryer fair and square!! I was reduced to tears !! ...... was my fav one! :(
 
Streetlander said:
yes my electric window got stuck and a big clod struck me dryer fair and square!! I was reduced to tears !! ...... was my fav one! :(
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Ah us Tratter boys have windy up windows and not a huge amount of electrickery so our windows don't get stuck. ;););)
I hope you wiped your leffer interior down after the incident I hear tears can stain :p:p:p:p:p
 
Grimmer said:
Ah us Tratter boys have windy up windows and not a huge amount of electrickery so our windows don't get stuck. ;););)
I hope you wiped your leffer interior down after the incident I hear tears can stain :p:p:p:p:p
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so many tears I will have to re-upholster the drivers seat, and the dash!

oh the pain of my loss :Cry:
 
Streetlander said:
so many tears I will have to re-upholster the drivers seat, and the dash!

oh the pain of my loss :Cry:
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There, there, never mind, is there no other Gaylanderers local to you who could come round and comfort you at this difficult time :5bgrouphug:, or do you live away from good public transport links, this could explain you loneliness as all the others Gaylanderers may have broken down and they can't get to you. Or have you got a high kerb?? this may also prove too much of an obstacle:D:5bsvengo::5bsvengo:

;);):rolleyes:
 
ty for your sincere concern over my loss, thats a great comfort from a tratterboy ;)

Alas all my fellow local freelander drivers are having pedicures and highlights done, then will be polishing their rims and waxing their paintwork before retiring for the night.

I will try to be strong in my solitude, sympathy text's & pm's are flooding through as we speak, they are boosting my self esteem.
 
I int got nuffink against durdy ole tratter boys un gurls ,but i dunt like slitty's ,my rockit has got a tratter detector fitted and i just blow em up [saves em moaning bout fixing them] and i int got any curling tongs in ma gaylander :(. . . . . .but i did get the doors wet :eek:
 
Streetlander said:
ty for your sincere concern over my loss, thats a great comfort from a tratterboy ;)

Alas all my fellow local freelander drivers are having pedicures and highlights done, then will be polishing their rims and waxing their paintwork before retiring for the night.

I will try to be strong in my solitude, sympathy text's & pm's are flooding through as we speak, they are boosting my self esteem.
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There isn't a word of that that surprises me:eek::eek::eek:

:hysterically_laughi:hysterically_laughi
 
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