Lovely.... one day maybe!
As for your screen washer issue, if the pump runs and no juice then its probably a pipe but you would expect it to drop out of the car somewhere. I did know of someone with an L322 and the pipe had come of for the rear washers and it ended up leaking into the rear tailgate area and making a bit of a mess.
However, my OH has a little 1 series which suffered the same problem and it was the little plastic filters on the inlet of the washer pump inside the washer bottle that were totally blocked. To prove it I put an air pump on the washer jet pipe and blew air back into the bottle. It would then work for a couple of goes before blocking up again. This of course showed the pipes were connected as air bubbles came up through the washer bottle.
Only cure for that one was to take the washer bottle out and clean the filters and bottle thoroughly to remove the build up of muck and gunk. Turns out that certain brands of screen wash congeal and go weird when mixed.
