The rozzers can be right dicks at times! I was coming home one night after work. It had been raining a lot and i was experiencing flooding in places i'd never seen before. I was in my S2(avatar)
When i got to the traffic lights where i can get home by either going straight on or turning left, i looked left and chose to go that way to see who the burk in full hi viz was standing in the road a hundred yards or so away, even though the lights were on green to go straight ahead. When i got closer i could see it was Plod. He steps out with his hand up and stops me. I ask him what the problem was. He tells me the road is flooded. It floods on this stretch often. Outside Morrisons in Bromsgrove, if there are any locals here. I ask how deep?
Three foot. He says. I have done four foot(unsuccesfully) so i knew what to expect. So i get out and star engaging the free wheel hubs.
What are you doing? He asks.
I'm engaging my whel hubs so i've got 4wd.(that's where i went wrong in the four foot catasrophe)
What for?
So i can drive through the water!
You're NOT going through it. I've told you it's flooded!
Four foot is no problem! I've done it before.
YOU'RE NOT GOING THROUGH IT. I'VE TOLD YOU!!!
I stare at him and wonder, can he actually stop me?
OK...
I get back in and do a U turn and go home. I grab my wellies and go straight back out but this time i head towards the flood from the opposite direction. Now this road floods often and the deepest i've ever seen it is about a foot deep. When i get down to the roundabout i see a large van parked in the water. I can see it's about three quarters up his wheel. THREE FOOT MY ARSE!
There is also a police car parked blocking one lane on the roundabout. A storm drain cover and frame is sitting at about a 35 degree angle, pushed up by the force of the water. That's not unusual either. I park up and get out and wander across the to plod who is sat on his bonnet.
I ask him what's up with the van?
Daft c*nt drove straight past my colleague and has broken down.
My first thought was, that's a bit strong for aplod to speak to a member of the public. I might be posh and all that.
I'm not, but he didn't know that.
So i say, look. I've done daft things in the past and other motorists have helped me out so do you mind if i go and tow him out?
Nah, leave the daft c*nt where he is!
Look, i'd really go and balance my yin and yang and all that if you don't mind.
It's up to you mate, but i'd leave the c*nt where he is!
So i jump back in and drive off into the water.
I pull up alongside the van and he opens the passenger window and we chat.
Yes he has help coming. His gaffer is coming to his rescue. He's got a car like yours. A Land Rover? I ask. Yes, but a newer model.
Is he coming in that?
No. Another van.
Like this one, that's stuck in the water?
Yes.
Is that wise?
What do you mean?
Well this one comked out didn't it...
Ah. I see what yo mean. He then pulls out his mobile, dials it and then hands it to me.
What are you doing?
It's my gaffer. Talk to him and tell him what you're doing.
Oh ffs...
I ask him if he's local.
Yes.
So i tell him i'll tow his van backwards out of the water so he can sort it out on the closed road part instead of towing it to the roundabout that still has live traffic going around it.
So i drive around to the back of the van.
Back up close and then climb into the back and drop the tailgate. He said he'd got a tow bar but i couldn't find it so i wrapped my tow rope around his back step and then climbed forwards again and towed him out of the water. I don't think his boss was going to be able to fix the engine as he told me he drove into the water fast to make a big splash and the engine suddenly stopped dead!
As i was pulling him out of the water PC Jobsworth was storming towards me down the road. It was most definately a storming, as opposed to proceeding in an orderly manner, as PC Dixon uses to do.
The hilight of my week was driving past the pillock with the widest grin on my face after not only driving into the 'three foot flood' which had closed the road but also towing out the stranded van!
All this and i didn't even get my wellies wet, which wasn't the case crossing the ford the previous year. My tide mark was well above my navel that day...
Keith_L
Well-Known Member
I remember coming home from work one night and my mom was still climbing the wall from spending about fifteen minutes trying to get out of the shop at the top of the road. It was rainy season. The M5 flooded southbound so the closed it. As you say they then diverted the traffic down the A38. Oh look, they've just closed the A38 outside Morrisons, so they diverted the motorway traffic through the estate, up my road back down to Morrisons roundabout. Mom came home and popped into the shop. When she came out it was solid traffic all up the road. Nobody would let her out to turn right. By the time i got home they'd sorted out the motorway and opened the southbound carriageway. After she'd finished her major rant expecting some sympathy from me, my comment of "what traffic?" didn't go down too well...
