MrNasty said:

Approach any defender quietly as possible, and if you listen carefully you can actually hear them rusting, some more than others.

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MrNasty said:

Approach any defender quietly as possible, and if you listen carefully you can actually hear them rusting, some more than others.

Click to expand...

Oldseadog said:

Fenders are fitted with automatic climate equalisation which has been known to fail and make it warm in the cab in winter.

They also have an internal liquid removal system built in which allows water to escape after the driver and/or passenger has experienced the automatic showers.

If you are able to go from standstill to 60mph in less than three hours your fuel is the wrong type and should be replaced with specially filtered chip oil from Tesco.

The chassis will have been used as a pattern for a collander. Should it not have sufficient orifices, extras can be fitted by any inexperienced stick welder at high enough amps.

If all the electrickery stuff works, don't worry as that is a purely temporary measure until you actually want to go somewhere.

Apart from the deafening engine and tyre noises and clunks and whines from the gearboxes and diffs which are designed in so that you are confident that the things that should rotate actually do.

The brakes may or may not work, so don't worry too much about them as you can generally find a small electric car to slow you down without scratching your front bumper too much.

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