FREELANDERS RULE.
My Freelander is the bestist and has:
Leffer heated comfortable seats.
makes wiping the jizz stains of em easier
Comfortable suspension. Sto
p my piles chafing
Enough power to accelerate 0 to 60mph in 10 seconds.
so I can get to the gay bar quicker
Brakes that actually work. 67 to 0mph in 4 seconds.
In case I see a handbag I like in a shop window
Space for 4 passengers to travel in comfort.
2s company, 3's a crowd, 4's an orgy
Air conditioning (proper air con - not a hole in the bulkhead)
cos my doors fell orf
A heater that works.
In my hairdryer
Smooth auto gearbox with optional sport mode and manual shift.
cos all them levers and peddles is confusing otherwise
Headlights that actually light up the road ahead.
ideal for dogging
No rust.
Cos it spends all the time in the garage being fixed
A radio you can hear.
cos the engine doesn't work without overheating
4 wheel drive.
can't be bothered to walk around Clapham common
Electronic traction control.
for when I venture over the kerb stones in sainsburys carpark
ABS.
I couldn't remember what came after c
Hill Descent Control.
In case I finish gardening uphill and wanna go back down
Electronic Brake force Distribution.
makes driving in my stilettos easier
Boot space big enough to put in everything I need.
hairdryer, clippers and curling tongs
A diagnostic socket I can use to fault find it. I
think it's called abut plug
Electric windows and mirrors.
so I can see to put my lippy on
Roof bars so I can fit ma roof rack bars.
ideal for carrying my make-up bag
Go anywhere ability oft road.
as long as it has tarmac on it
Enough power to tow a caravan if I want to be a snail.
I think they call it a teardrop
Can actually steer round corners and follow the road ahead.
if I wasn't too busy putting on my makeup
Doesn't have any water leaks.
except the boot, the doors, the bonnet, the floor and the sun roofs
Looks smart and is presentable.
At the gay pride march
Doors that dun't fall oft.
cos that happened before I got it
Comfortable on long journeys.
well the AA truck is anyway
Up yours tratterers.
:bounce:
