West Slope Rover said:

Yeah it could go like this in the intro section.

"I came here for some advice on the sh*t sandwich of a car I bought. All I got was a bunch of grief from a bunch of cave people. Since the rest of you must be troglodytes as well since you frequent this pile of offal, allow me to lower myself to your level and introduce myself. My name is Og and I own a Gaylander."

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The Mad Hat Man said:

am i too late?

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Pikey said:

On the subject of stroopy gaylanderers Had one ranting at me in Morrisons carpark a month or so ago. Because? he couldn't get past me while I was waiting for an old dear to load her shopping and vacate her parking spot, So I could park up.

After exchanging Pleasantries, He informed me that He "had the website address & would be getting in touch"??? Think he meant the LZ stickers. I've been watching the newbies post with interest, but he doesn't appear to have signed up yet :Cry:

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GrumpyGel said:

Richie babe, please don't take offense and leave us. In the Freelander forum we love and nurture fellow Freelander owners.

Unfortunately this afternoon the security guard was down at the Blue Orchid and a load of neanderthal Tratter boys from other forums wandered in and abused you.

You will find we are compassionate and sympathetic folk in the Freelander forum. We feel the anger you must have built inside driven by the treatment dished out to you by Tratter boys and are here for hugs. We've sent the Freelander Police out into their forums and bitch slapped them.

You will find that once into the Freelander forum we can offer lots of help and advice. We're particularly good with emotional support and gadgets, such as curlers and straighteners, and a few members also have a couple of spanners.

So be a lovie and introduce yourself as we're very curious. We'd also love to know what type of Freelander you have, particularly colour and age - we don't like fiddling with young ones. You might like to also put some less relevant info in there, like what engine you have.

:lvcrying-183:

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Pikey said:

Shurrup or I'll cut the plug of ya straighteners..

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Pikey said:

Shurrup or I'll cut the plug off ya straighteners..

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rich574 said:

Really need help with this I'll start with the easy probs.
Black oil looks to be leaking from the rear right of the car, looks like its dripping from what I think is the fuel tank brace, any ideas what this could be? Seems too dark to be diesel.

Lot of smoke from exhaust when I start the engine from cold, but it disappears after a short while.

Reversing sensors don't work, the sensors themselves are fine can only assume its the control unit?

Intermittent electrical problem - sometimes when I turn on the ignition none of the instruments work for a few seconds and when they do come on and I start the engine, the hill descent, traction control and the engine management lights stay on. More frequently the engine management light will stay on for no apparent reason for a few days and then disappear for a week. I'm guessing this is some kind of weird electrical fault however on one occasion the car would not start either.

This is my first land rover and would really appreciate any help you guys can give

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htr said:

Problems: black oil - not sure what that could be being that far back, smokey on start up, I'm guessing you have a diesel - you haven't told us so I'm going to suggest check your air filter. Black smoke likely air filter, grey / white smoke possible worn motor - others will confirm or add to that suggestion.

Three warning lights: HDC, TC MiL commonly referred to as the 3 amigos. Can be several reasons they come on. Possible brake lamp switch near the brake pedal fault, possible faulty abs sensor on a wheel hub...
The engine management lamp is trying to tell you something. A code reader would be useful.

Service history may be an issue for you if you are getting lots of niggly problems.
Just like eating an elephant, you have to start with one bite and keep going one bit at a time!

Rudeness: Consider this, you just walked up to a group of friendly looking people who are having a conversation on a street corner. You look and listen and then try to join their conversation. That would be odd wouldn't it? The intro' section is like you wearing a name label and tells us all something about you. That info' really helps to kick off those conversations. Conversations which you will find interesting, useful and at times amusing too.

There are some very knowledgeable and experienced people on this forum who willingly share information. There is sometimes banter and a bit of leg pulling too.

I hope to see you around.

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rich574 said:

Really need help with this I'll start with the easy probs.
Black oil looks to be leaking from the rear right of the car, looks like its dripping from what I think is the fuel tank brace, any ideas what this could be? Seems too dark to be diesel.
Engine oil leaking from ? Try cleaning the engine and see if anything is spotted ... could be crankcase breather, if it is get it swapped for a BMW one ...

Lot of smoke from exhaust when I start the engine from cold, but it disappears after a short while.
Has the EGR been blanked and the intercooler cleaned out?

Reversing sensors don't work, the sensors themselves are fine can only assume its the control unit?
Get an auto electrician to check this, if you have a multimeter -check the wiring ...

Intermittent electrical problem - sometimes when I turn on the ignition none of the instruments work for a few seconds and when they do come on and I start the engine, the hill descent, traction control and the engine management lights stay on. More frequently the engine management light will stay on for no apparent reason for a few days and then disappear for a week. I'm guessing this is some kind of weird electrical fault however on one occasion the car would not start either.
Brake switch usually ... do a search, common problem ...

This is my first land rover and would really appreciate any help you guys can give

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And take a deep breath ...