To be fair i think most cars that haven't had a 500bhp V8 shoehorned into it are 'frugal'. Those ZXs are highly under rated. It was the first car that i'd ever hit 50mpg + with!
The next most economical i had was my first Seat Ibiza. A 1.9 non turbo car.
I remember driving to Great Yarmouth to collect a kayak i'd bought off ebay. I arrived at the guy's house in this two door car with no roof rack or any other visible means of taking it back. He said he didn't think it would fit inside...
I said no, it's going on the roof, don't worry. I've done this before, and then opened the hatchback and took out a single airbed mattress and started blowing it up.
He disappeared around the side of his house and came back carrying the kayak and laid it next to the car. When i'd inflated the mattress i placed it on the roof and one at each end we placed the kayak on top. I then reached for one of the ratchet straps and fed it through the door openings and over the kayak. The other strap went under the hatchback hinges and over the kayak. I then began to tighten them one at a time until i got the right tension. A balance between tight strap and airbed compression.
This wasn't the first time i'd done this was when i went to collect my previous kayak from a farm in Oxford. The lady there clearly did a lot of kayaking as she had a trailor built to carry several at the same time parked out front, plus a 109 station wagon. She was so shocked when i pulled out the airbed she literally grabbed her two young children and backed away to go back inside telling me that if i needed anything she'd be inside!
After i'd inflated it and was in the process of strapping it down she came out again to say that she was going shopping and if i needed anything that her son was inside and to call him. I thanked her and she drove off. Once i was happy with the kayak i departed. Once i got up to about 30 mph the whole car began to hum and vibrate. As i went faster it got worse and A LOT LOUDER! It could be felt through my body and was horrible!!!
I didn't think it was that loud outside of the car until a chap walking his dog about a hundred yards in ahead of me on the path both suddenly turned to look at me approaching. I was about ten minutes away from the M42 and knew i couldn't stand this all the way home so i pulled over into a layby and grabbing a reel of electrical cable i'd got in the back, tied it th the strap on one side and looped it across and back to stop the ratchet strap from vibrating edge on into the wind. When i collected the kayak from Great Yarmouth i just put a couple of twists into the strap either side of the kayak to prevent this. The guy made sure i'd got his telephone number and made promise to call if there was any problem on the way home. I drove home at a steady 50 and when i worked out what the mpg was after filling up that tank of fuel had done 67.7mpg

I love the performance and economy of modern engines but i sure do miss the simplicty of the cars i had back in the 80s when i started to drive.
My cousin runs his own garage and isn't interested in owning any car made after the mid 90s due to the complications you get with them.
Your cousin, you and I are all cut from the same cloth I think!
 
Your cousin, you and I are all cut from the same cloth I think!
Our other tame racing driver(he's a solicitor) told him about a car one of his posher clients was selling and thought he might be interested in it.
He took him around to the owner's house and after being buzzed in through the gates drove up the drive to a long open fronted car port with about six cars lined up side by side. It was something like Ferrari, Bentley, Jag, Mercedes, Mercedes and at the end... Volvo.
My cousin said he wasn't interested an an old Volvo and couldn't afford any of the others so why were they here?
When they met the owner who then walked out to the cars and started it, my cousing got a semi!!!
He then noticed a Don Garlits badge on the grill and asked the owner if it was genuine?
He was told it was and he had the paperwork to prove that the engine was built by Don Garlits. He also had all the paperwork to show what other modifications had been made to the car. A short test drive later around the country lanes near Stratford-On-Avon it was sold.
In the 18 months or so that my cousin owned it, he got through three gearboxes. It was using a touring car racing baox(if memory serves) when he bought it. That went bang...
He then sourced a genuine works TR8 rally car gearbox. That also went bang. I think that was the one that killed itself while gently driving of his garage forecourt on the way home one night.
The box he ended up with, which his mate GUARANTEED for the life of the car, was a four speed NASCAR box. He was right. It took any and all abuse he gave it but the gear stick came out of the left hand side of the box as it was designed for NASCARs and with it being in a right hand drive car was not the easiest stick to use.
I remember walking towards it on the ramp at his garage one evening and you could feel the exhaust pulses from the back from about fifteen feet away. The car looked bog standard apart from being lowered about an inch with black tinted windows. Ordinary looking alloy wheels, powder coated black and a single exhaust out back of modest diameter. Not like the dustbins that some Imprezzas carry. Of course it only seemed normal until he turned the key :)

We drove up to Rockingham one weekend. We were both Rockingham Supporters Club members. It had been open over a year and neither of us had been to a meeting because every time they had one we were envolved with two guysin K-Sports but this weekend they were supposed to be racing in France and for whatever reason it was cancelled. I had free tickets for this Rockingham event and as we were free we deiced to go.
When we got there we telephoned a mate who we knew was racing and he came out with a vehicle pass for us to drive into the paddock. We drove through the two marshal check points and were in the far end of the paddock looking for our mate. We were only driving at walking pace but IT was announcing itself as usual. We noticed mechanics and pit crews and other people looking at us and then around for the source of the V8 rumble. Then seeing no other car back at us, then around again for the source of the noise! Now the car wasn't stupidly lous but it had that distinct American off beat rumble. As we drove past people they started to follow. When we pulled up there must have been about a dowen people looking at the car and as we got out questions like "open the hood!" "What's under the bonnet?" "Was that you rumbling?" Then "Where'd ya nick the badge from?" and "How much for tha badge mate?" Then when he opened the bonnet "Why have you got a Garlits badge when it ain't one of his engines?" to which he was told to F*CK OFF BEFORE I T*AT YOU!"
I'd never heard of Garlits but apparently he was one of THE dragster engine buiders. Cliff Richard had two cars that he loved. A Corvette and a Volvo. He loved the comfort of the Volvo and the performance and the noise of the Corvette so he took both cars to America and got the V8 put into the Volvo and then told the guy to 'make it fast'.
It was very good in a straight line but butt clenching around corners!
He took it(cousin not Cliff) to Birmingham Wheels one evening where people race between two roundabouts on a short dual carriageway, i've never been.
He went against a tuned Skyline. Skyline got him off the line, and was then overtaken. Skyline then repassed under braking because it had modified Skyline brakes and the Volvo had Volvo brakes, but then the Volvo retook the Skyline to the finish.
The Volvo is now no more having rusted to bits and was then stripped for parts. Namely one engine and gearbox.
 
Our other tame racing driver(he's a solicitor) told him about a car one of his posher clients was selling and thought he might be interested in it.
He took him around to the owner's house and after being buzzed in through the gates drove up the drive to a long open fronted car port with about six cars lined up side by side. It was something like Ferrari, Bentley, Jag, Mercedes, Mercedes and at the end... Volvo.
My cousin said he wasn't interested an an old Volvo and couldn't afford any of the others so why were they here?
When they met the owner who then walked out to the cars and started it, my cousing got a semi!!!
He then noticed a Don Garlits badge on the grill and asked the owner if it was genuine?
He was told it was and he had the paperwork to prove that the engine was built by Don Garlits. He also had all the paperwork to show what other modifications had been made to the car. A short test drive later around the country lanes near Stratford-On-Avon it was sold.
In the 18 months or so that my cousin owned it, he got through three gearboxes. It was using a touring car racing baox(if memory serves) when he bought it. That went bang...
He then sourced a genuine works TR8 rally car gearbox. That also went bang. I think that was the one that killed itself while gently driving of his garage forecourt on the way home one night.
The box he ended up with, which his mate GUARANTEED for the life of the car, was a four speed NASCAR box. He was right. It took any and all abuse he gave it but the gear stick came out of the left hand side of the box as it was designed for NASCARs and with it being in a right hand drive car was not the easiest stick to use.
I remember walking towards it on the ramp at his garage one evening and you could feel the exhaust pulses from the back from about fifteen feet away. The car looked bog standard apart from being lowered about an inch with black tinted windows. Ordinary looking alloy wheels, powder coated black and a single exhaust out back of modest diameter. Not like the dustbins that some Imprezzas carry. Of course it only seemed normal until he turned the key :)

We drove up to Rockingham one weekend. We were both Rockingham Supporters Club members. It had been open over a year and neither of us had been to a meeting because every time they had one we were envolved with two guysin K-Sports but this weekend they were supposed to be racing in France and for whatever reason it was cancelled. I had free tickets for this Rockingham event and as we were free we deiced to go.
When we got there we telephoned a mate who we knew was racing and he came out with a vehicle pass for us to drive into the paddock. We drove through the two marshal check points and were in the far end of the paddock looking for our mate. We were only driving at walking pace but IT was announcing itself as usual. We noticed mechanics and pit crews and other people looking at us and then around for the source of the V8 rumble. Then seeing no other car back at us, then around again for the source of the noise! Now the car wasn't stupidly lous but it had that distinct American off beat rumble. As we drove past people they started to follow. When we pulled up there must have been about a dowen people looking at the car and as we got out questions like "open the hood!" "What's under the bonnet?" "Was that you rumbling?" Then "Where'd ya nick the badge from?" and "How much for tha badge mate?" Then when he opened the bonnet "Why have you got a Garlits badge when it ain't one of his engines?" to which he was told to F*CK OFF BEFORE I T*AT YOU!"
I'd never heard of Garlits but apparently he was one of THE dragster engine buiders. Cliff Richard had two cars that he loved. A Corvette and a Volvo. He loved the comfort of the Volvo and the performance and the noise of the Corvette so he took both cars to America and got the V8 put into the Volvo and then told the guy to 'make it fast'.
It was very good in a straight line but butt clenching around corners!
He took it(cousin not Cliff) to Birmingham Wheels one evening where people race between two roundabouts on a short dual carriageway, i've never been.
He went against a tuned Skyline. Skyline got him off the line, and was then overtaken. Skyline then repassed under braking because it had modified Skyline brakes and the Volvo had Volvo brakes, but then the Volvo retook the Skyline to the finish.
The Volvo is now no more having rusted to bits and was then stripped for parts. Namely one engine and gearbox.
Interesting and amusing story!:):):)
I too have never heard of Garlits.:rolleyes:
But then I know feck all about loads a stuff!;););)
 
Interesting and amusing story!:):):)
I too have never heard of Garlits.:rolleyes:
But then I know feck all about loads a stuff!;););)
I think if we were in USA and racing fans, and you admitted to not having heard of Don Garlits, or 'Big Daddy' as he's also known as, i'd be starting with the 'yo mamma' jokes or asking you to step outside. But as we aren't, and i'd never heard of him before seeing the Volvo and having to learn about him from my cousin, i'll forgive you :D
Personally i find NASCAR boring, same with drag racing so don't watch either.
We ended up doing two seasons of ASCAR at Rockingham and i couldn't stand more than one season. For two reasons:
1. They only turn left.
2. When it rains they all race back to the garage until not only has it stopped raining, but they have dried out the track!
THIS IS WHY GOD INVENTED WET TYRES!!!
Another funy story...
After fending off the 'fans' of the Volvo in the paddock we were politley asked by our mate(who was a part time fellow K-Sports racer but acted as spotter for an ASCAR driver when he could) to take the Volvo out of the paddock because there wasn't much room for pit crew and driver's own cars. We'd been spectating for a bit from the roof of the garages when it started to rain. We ran downstairs and joined our mate in the garage below.The circuit emptied and then we heard the paddock speaker asking for any pit crew to please go out onto track to help dry it out. Me and my cousin looked at each other, thinking the same thing and shot out of the paddock to jump in the car to come back into the paddcok and get out on track! As he starts it up i point out that we no longer have a paddock pass! He ignores me and drives towards the first checkpoint. I suspect being the only red Volvo 760 that the marshals had seen that day(or EVER) they recognised us and waved us through. We then floored it as we passed under the track above and approached the second, who held up their hands for us to stop and show our pass. We shouted (as we passed them) that they'd already seen it and drove into the back of the paddock. Right then, how do we get out onto the circuit?
Driving towards the far end of the garages we saw a marshal wave to us and open a gate! Ha, we didn't even have to argue! Or beg, we weren't proud...
So we now find ourselves out on the circuit driving around with about another 30 or so cars passing the two Rockingham pickup trucks that towed behing them a trailer onto which was bolted a helicopter jet turbine engine. The exhaust was shaped into a wide slit to aim the hot exhaust onto the track drying as wide a strip as possible. We'd got the windows open loving it! We then spotted a convertible Jag XK8 about a hundred yards ahead of us. The ASCAR racing series was televised on Channel 4 the saturday morning following the race weekend. Driving the XK was the lady who presented the show. She was explaining to the viewers what happened after a rain shower to her cameraman who was sat in the passenger seat filming. I suggested that we speed up a little and try to sit on her outside so we'd be in shot. Well he sped up and sat behind her waiting for the scumbag who had had the same idea and was hogging the spot we wanted when a car driven by our K-Sports mate came up behind us flashing his lights. So boys being be boys, we went faster and overtook the camera hog with our mate behind. Someone else saw us speed up so they sped up and then so did someone else... It wasn't too long later that everybody was lapping faster than the organisers wanted so they dragged us all back into the paddock :(
It was fun while it lasted. We didn't get to see us overtake but we did hear the Volvo growling behind for a lap. I've been trying to find out the name of the presenter. Her name was Helen and she had a nickname something like Helenballs.
I finally came across a link for an episode on YouTube. Her name is Helen Chamberlain and the name of the program was Days Of Thunder. Had i thought about it i could have just looked at the promotional biro i have...
Just search YouTube for 'days of thunder rockingham' and it looks like most episodes of the 2004 season are on there.
You'll also see Ben Collins. For most he's known as Top Gear's Stig 2. For me he's the little sh1t who was caught cheating with an illegal car!
He had a crash and marshals discovered the exhaust manifolds were ceramic coated. So his car was not returned to HIS garage but to the scrutineering garage instead and they dug out their FTC Toolbox (FTC - fine tooth comb) and went over the car from one end to the other. I forget what else they found was illegal but the exhaust manifold was ceramic coated which was not allowed. It helps keep heat in the exhaust which is good for power and efficiency. He was the current reigning champion and having won the previous year was tipped for winning again. He did not retain his crown in 2004.
 
I think if we were in USA and racing fans, and you admitted to not having heard of Don Garlits, or 'Big Daddy' as he's also known as, i'd be starting with the 'yo mamma' jokes or asking you to step outside. But as we aren't, and i'd never heard of him before seeing the Volvo and having to learn about him from my cousin, i'll forgive you :D
Personally i find NASCAR boring, same with drag racing so don't watch either.
We ended up doing two seasons of ASCAR at Rockingham and i couldn't stand more than one season. For two reasons:
1. They only turn left.
2. When it rains they all race back to the garage until not only has it stopped raining, but they have dried out the track!
THIS IS WHY GOD INVENTED WET TYRES!!!
Another funy story...
After fending off the 'fans' of the Volvo in the paddock we were politley asked by our mate(who was a part time fellow K-Sports racer but acted as spotter for an ASCAR driver when he could) to take the Volvo out of the paddock because there wasn't much room for pit crew and driver's own cars. We'd been spectating for a bit from the roof of the garages when it started to rain. We ran downstairs and joined our mate in the garage below.The circuit emptied and then we heard the paddock speaker asking for any pit crew to please go out onto track to help dry it out. Me and my cousin looked at each other, thinking the same thing and shot out of the paddock to jump in the car to come back into the paddcok and get out on track! As he starts it up i point out that we no longer have a paddock pass! He ignores me and drives towards the first checkpoint. I suspect being the only red Volvo 760 that the marshals had seen that day(or EVER) they recognised us and waved us through. We then floored it as we passed under the track above and approached the second, who held up their hands for us to stop and show our pass. We shouted (as we passed them) that they'd already seen it and drove into the back of the paddock. Right then, how do we get out onto the circuit?
Driving towards the far end of the garages we saw a marshal wave to us and open a gate! Ha, we didn't even have to argue! Or beg, we weren't proud...
So we now find ourselves out on the circuit driving around with about another 30 or so cars passing the two Rockingham pickup trucks that towed behing them a trailer onto which was bolted a helicopter jet turbine engine. The exhaust was shaped into a wide slit to aim the hot exhaust onto the track drying as wide a strip as possible. We'd got the windows open loving it! We then spotted a convertible Jag XK8 about a hundred yards ahead of us. The ASCAR racing series was televised on Channel 4 the saturday morning following the race weekend. Driving the XK was the lady who presented the show. She was explaining to the viewers what happened after a rain shower to her cameraman who was sat in the passenger seat filming. I suggested that we speed up a little and try to sit on her outside so we'd be in shot. Well he sped up and sat behind her waiting for the scumbag who had had the same idea and was hogging the spot we wanted when a car driven by our K-Sports mate came up behind us flashing his lights. So boys being be boys, we went faster and overtook the camera hog with our mate behind. Someone else saw us speed up so they sped up and then so did someone else... It wasn't too long later that everybody was lapping faster than the organisers wanted so they dragged us all back into the paddock :(
It was fun while it lasted. We didn't get to see us overtake but we did hear the Volvo growling behind for a lap. I've been trying to find out the name of the presenter. Her name was Helen and she had a nickname something like Helenballs.
I finally came across a link for an episode on YouTube. Her name is Helen Chamberlain and the name of the program was Days Of Thunder. Had i thought about it i could have just looked at the promotional biro i have...
Just search YouTube for 'days of thunder rockingham' and it looks like most episodes of the 2004 season are on there.
You'll also see Ben Collins. For most he's known as Top Gear's Stig 2. For me he's the little sh1t who was caught cheating with an illegal car!
He had a crash and marshals discovered the exhaust manifolds were ceramic coated. So his car was not returned to HIS garage but to the scrutineering garage instead and they dug out their FTC Toolbox (FTC - fine tooth comb) and went over the car from one end to the other. I forget what else they found was illegal but the exhaust manifold was ceramic coated which was not allowed. It helps keep heat in the exhaust which is good for power and efficiency. He was the current reigning champion and having won the previous year was tipped for winning again. He did not retain his crown in 2004.
Again very interesting and amusing!
And yes, I did know what ceramic coating does. In the Kit Car world underbonnet temperatures can be a real problem and it is one things peeps soemtimes do to try and cure it.
Will have to look out for Helenballs bit and your noisy Volvo!:D:D:D
 
Hi all
Thanks for all the reply's and suggestions and here's where i am at the moment.
Pretty certain i don't have a leak, as I have crawled all round underneath both with it running and switched off and cannot find anything, where i park overnight is white concrete and nothing there, also went to a large supermarket carpark and drove round and round the same route for about 20 mins to see if i left any trails and still nothing, (apart from some very comfused looks from other shoppers who must have thought i was lost).
Next thing is to clean the MAP and LAT sensors i have been told about (when i can locate them) :confused:.
After that i will have to put my cat on the streets to get the 135 quid i need to fill it up to do a brim check.
All the best
Bill
 
Hi all
Thanks for all the reply's and suggestions and here's where i am at the moment.
Pretty certain i don't have a leak, as I have crawled all round underneath both with it running and switched off and cannot find anything, where i park overnight is white concrete and nothing there, also went to a large supermarket carpark and drove round and round the same route for about 20 mins to see if i left any trails and still nothing, (apart from some very comfused looks from other shoppers who must have thought i was lost).
Next thing is to clean the MAP and LAT sensors i have been told about (when i can locate them) :confused:.
After that i will have to put my cat on the streets to get the 135 quid i need to fill it up to do a brim check.
All the best
Bill
Your MAP/Iat sensor is on top of the inlet manifold, (the big tubular thing on the left of the engine as you are looking at it from the front of the car). Once you have taken the engine cover off. One of the easiest things to find!
It is held there with two bolts I think. You'll need to disconnect the wiring plug. Make sure you have got some sensor cleaner and just spray it into the hole. Don't be tempted to poke around inside it! Let it dry which won't take long then put it back without redoing the bolts up too tight. clip the plug back on, (I forgot once, not good!) then see how it drives. Frankly it should drive a bit better if that was the problem.
 
I have a 2003 td5 manual with stage1 remap and got 22-24 as average mainly on short runs (never on highways).
As before suggested, check sensors then fill it fully up drive few hundred kms then refill again (possibly on the same station) then calculate.
 

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