Pull over in a layby on the A30,devon section is best for broad selection of emmets.Look for a HUGE twin axle gin palace caravan with the legs down and grab 'un while they'm making their tea.Praaper jahb, cousin Jaaan!

Then do 'ee fix 'n on with baler twine....they do whine some and get teazy,but scat 'n good ,they soon shuts up. Family groups are ideal as they cling together which is a saving on twine.

Bonus is, you can always sell it caravan to they pikeys out bugle !

PS when selling the caravans,ask for shocker

I arrived at this process by a system of experiment and elimination.....I did try driving round newquay with velcro (the hook bit) stuck un the outside of the D1 and when they emmets staggered into the road drunk their polyester track suits connected with the velcro.

Handsome,you might say....well,t'was in theory but since their trousers were always hanging down past their arses mostly they got scat abroad,first corner, and I had to drive round and connect with a few more. False economy in the long run.

No,those giant caravan emmets, they'm the job,alright.Obviously its the caravans that are giants,not the emmets. That would be silly,else.

Do upcountry folks use us yokels as bumper upgrades when we stray out of the Duchy ?

They tried it once but its against pedestrian human rights as the bumper didn't conform to the correct EU standard due to it being......HARD AS FOOK!!

So we'm to use europeans as bumpers now ? Canst see problem w'that, can 'ee?

Any special kind of europeans ? Or will any do ?