Money Pit...
The Discovery Project...Posted by Nicky Smith Mon, October 05, 2015 15:47:05
There was a tale of a man who bought an old Discovery, it was Grey in colour and it was a happy little truck that just plodded on needing no major work at times it did need the odd fettle here and there but all of the little bits that needed changing just came off of the truck like they were nice and new ready for the healthy parts to be put back on.
The man and the truck loved driving around the the perpetual sunshine having adventures smiling as they did so...

Wouldn't that be a great thing eh but as any Land Rover owner knows a complete fantasy. Brian's new name is Brian the Bastard because he really is, I have never known a car that fights back as hard as he does on anything that has to be done to him. Last weeks adventures consisted of changing the track rod ends which would be an easy task of course but they were all rusted solid and in the end I did manage to change over the front steering bar ends but the back bar would not give them up for love nor money! In fact I smacked that damned bar soo hard that it ended up twisting around on itself so I had to buy a new one and seeing as I was buying new I decided to upgrade to heavy duty bars. When I went to Paddocks after calling them to check they had them in stock I set off into Derbyshire to collect them only to be told when I got there that the 40 odd pairs of Heavy Duty bars they had in stock did not have any locking nuts with them so with a heavy heart I bought another standard rear arm instead.
In all fairness it did not take long to then refit the bars and track rod ends and Brian took them on with no moaning at all so after a three day fight he was ready for a test drive. A quick blast up and down the ring road showed me that my turn count was a bit crap and that Brian was pulling to the left like a drunken dwarf on a stag night that has had a mild stroke so off to get him tracked up I went.
£40 later Brian drove straight and true once again and seeing as I had replaced the steering damper as well it was a new driving experience in him unlike the normal constant steering correcting that had to be done in him!...

OK so I was now pretty much convinced that I had done all I could to get Brian ready for his MOT and seeing as I only had one weekday off before this was due I took him early this morning for this annual torture. All was going well to start until the emissions test came up which Brian failed pretty damned miserably. Then there was the rookie mistake I had made after fitting the rear ball joint and forgetting to put the split pin through the damned bolt but that was no biggy. The biggest problem was when the tester noticed noticed the rear brake pipe was out of it's holding clip on the rear axle and when he moved it to pop it into place (whilst I was watching I hasten to add) it split cleanly and started to pour, and I mean pour, the brake fluid out. On closer inspection it looked like someone/thing had cut into the pipe so who the hell have I upset there then? I am just hoping I have caught the pipe when off roading rather than someone having it in for me!
So now I cannot drive the bloody thing home and I have no way of getting it back once it was fixed before the MOT runs out because the garage I use is not open on weekends so a price was haggled and agreed with the garage to fix it during the week and Wifey will have to collect it and drive Brian on the road for the first time.
I have to admit that I did consider throwing the towel in with Brian just for a few minutes and going to buy myself something a bit more sensible but hopefully with these last hurdles jumped Brian will give me some nice reliable driving for the winter to come...

He's Back!!
The Discovery Project...Posted by Nicky Smith Tue, October 06, 2015 21:10:32
I was surprised to get a phone call at lunchtime whilst I was just getting stuck into my beef burrito after walking away from another driver induction that was about as much fun to teach out as pulling out my own pubic hair one by one with a pair of rusty tweezers due to the complete lack of interaction from the driver being taught to say that Brian was ready for collection already!
Another £130 down but hey A) He was done B) He was done two days early because another job that was supposed to be in this morning didn't turn up so Brian got dragged out of the corner and his small list of minor fixes sorted quickly!

Wifey had to go and collect him for me then upon my return from work informed me it had been quite some time since she actually had to "drive" a car instead of just gently plodding on in one but both Brian and Wifey seem neither the worse for wear!
It is indeed good to have him back again because this morning when I jumped on my motorbike all I got was a fizzling/sizzling noise when I tried to start it up and seeing as the Landy was in the garage I had to steal Wifeys car for the day because all of a sudden we were down to one vehicle which I did not like at all!
The bike will need looking at but seeing as the rain has not stopped for most of the day I will try to have a stab at that issue tomorrow, it's just nice have the Land rover back that now only needs a couple of jobs sorting out...


Just the sedimentor, lift pump and a good service to sort and maybe just maybe we will be good for the winter. Nope I am lying the trailing arm bushes want changing over as well then we should be good for winter. A rebuild wasn't on the cards for Brian when I bought him but he seems to be getting one slowly but surely!

Damn it I have been recognised!
The Discovery Project...Posted by Nicky Smith Sun, October 11, 2015 12:42:54
Well I had a surprising start to the day this morning and no to the perverts among you the Wife did not wake up early and bring me tea in bed along with a gentle awakening no it was a bit more surreal than even that.

I sold on fleabay a razor bonnet I bought for the Series 3 "Mator" rebuild because I decided against changing him away from his original set up. The chap who bought it arrived nice and early as well as bang on time at 08:30, I love folk who are timely in nature there is no need to say you will be somewhere at 08:30 then turn up at 09:30 saying "oh did you actually have to be somewhere else doing something you wanted to do rather than waiting in for me?", and we walked around the back back of the house to get the part in question.
As always happens with another Landy nut the conversation was quickly turned to all things green oval and it came out why I was selling a series bonnet when there was a Discovery on the driveway there was a look of recognition on his face and the chap seemed to look me up and down with a smile and said "Oh are you THAT Nicky Smith?"

I have to admit this took me by surprise because even though I know the book has been selling a mere few copies here and there it has never really dawned on me that anyone outside of my circle of family and friends has ever really read any of it. I know that sounds stupid but you just don't do you I mean why would you? Anyway it sort of threw me a bit and I said that yes that was indeed me and it turned out this chap was reading it through The Landy newspaper that are publishing bits here and there of it.

So this was a new experience a dawning if you like in my hectic brain that out there in the real world folk really do read my drivel writings and it still surprises the hell out of me but fear not my head will not grow in size because only I have the access to see exactly how many copies of my book have been sold and I expect that this will be a once in a lifetime event!