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I remember when I had the same appetite.

Roger that, Phill. Well said.

Evenin orl. Us boys bin busy runnin arouwn turday, easier arfta seein chiropodist. Dun a foo bits a pieces a now goan pub. See your orl ledder frens.

So no change there then.

Christine Keeler managed all right…..

Mornin orl, Lars dai uv wurk fur this week, be oanly a week tu payday. Us muss be pozzitiv. Avva gude dai frens!

Arvternune frens. Vinally got into wurk avvin seen the honkology nurses at osspittle. These are the most inspiring and heartlifting people you could ever wish to meet. How they stay positive in the face of what they see on a daily basis beats me.

Big hugs, Dips. Me dad died ten years ago: a week or so ago I found a copy of the eulogy I wrote for the church service. Bust me in half for a bit.

Neither has my spray of penetrating oil. The idiots have had it 4 days.

Oops. Us fer got tu post lars one a then postid by acskident. Mornin orl. Be braight a shiny ere tudai, off tu wurk zoon. Avva great dai!

Where do ee find a bear as will batter the dripping? Theym eggstinkt roan djer. Gnight orl. Av bin a gude weekend simly.

Us boys adda “lady of negotiable affection” ferra customer backalong. Paid cash her did zo no criticism. Afore yer ask, yes, em du try to pay in kind but her unnerstude wen us boys eggsplaynd as a couple uv hours fun wooden pay us bill in the Rose & Crown.

Tiddun that bad, depends oo else be there wen yer wakes up. Vrum speerience, us boys vink tis safer wakin up wivva hedgehog than wiv yer mates burd.

She looks lovely, I really like those purposeful fine-stamp labs. My first was like that: the most single-minded bitch I ever handled, never had to do anything with her amongst livestock because she was only interested in game.

Put them on if you like but watch out on your next trip to Kwikfit (or whoever) cos they’ll just chuck them away. Had to retrieve mine from their bin.

Escort Agency code for “bareback”. You’ll be lucky.

And how long? Asking for a friend.

Morning frens, Drai and bright today, off oat wiv us dugs. Av a great day!

Mornin orl, Be Vriday. Be payday anorl zo us boys appi tudai. Tis gude bein back at wurk cuz us can luke vorwurd tu weekend. Avva gude dai orl.

Yes, that’s a good mix. Used to have a tank of all sorts once, all the solvents and oils used to get tipped in it. A few days and anything would come free. I’ve ordered a can of this new gear and I’ll give it a go.