Report the call you yer phone company

Ah dun't bovver wiv all that messing about. Tip bag of frozen sprouts in slow cookerer wiv other veggerbuls and water. Cook until boiling. Use a packet mix or oxo gravy. Eye likes soft veg.

Take a tow rope anorl.

Up urly fer wuk again.

Wevver peeps are saying the storm dropped a month of rain. Half me garage roof collected 400L. Me water butts then over flowed. Only damage was me rose fell over.

"... eye can't feel it at sll..."

There's a freelander in this one. A propper one.

Casserole has bin eated. Eye is in bed. Safe and warm. Me alarm is on and me central eating runs 24/7 to keep castle hippo at 17.5 degrees minimum.

Eye dun't want the fat from the sossij gerrin in me casserole mix. Eye microwave them in a small plastic ready meal fing. Tis surprising what comes oot of them once cooked for 2 mins. It sets hard like lard and turns white.

Me casserole is at 87 degrees C. Nearly there. Sprouts are soft.

Sossij casserole wiv oot the sossij is in me slow cookerer. Sossij will go int microwave later.

An easier one to follow assits a sunday

Todays maffs lesson

Ronnie is oot the nooker

Gorra free lunch at wuk yesterday so eye is having last nights stake un chips now.

Is that on yer clown truck? Yes, eye just seen the update.

Thas got me finking