Guys I'm still around. I've not just asked for help, then buggered off. I'd like to contribute more to these forums like you're saying, but you lot already know way more than me anyway. So I don't really have much to say, I don't want to end up being that annoying guy who just gives his opinion...

I'd love to. I'm not sure how much help I'd be though, as you can see I'm hardly an expert. I want to repay you guys for all this and hopefully I'll be less of an idiot in the future

I'm home. Thanks chaps, owe you big time.

I'm waiting with a mate by a black VW by the entrance to the lane on welsh road

I'm on my way now. There will be someone there yes??

Somebody said somebody would be there in about 45 mins. About 10 mins ago by phone call

I'm getting a lift with a friend

I've contacted mad hat man and blue beasty with my mobile. They have my number now and will be there in about 40 mins. That's what I've just been told now

I'm asking for help late because I gave up on various methods of getting out and went home

There's one at the front to the right under the number plate but it'd be easier to use the towbar and tow it out backwards I think. I'll try again with the PM (Sorry I've never used a forum like this before)

Here's the some pics. I fully accept that I'm a massive idiot and that was a stupid thing to try. But I don't know anyone else capable of rescuing me

I only found this place via google. I know it seems suspicious but as it's my first post but I've PMed mad hat man with my phone number so that should help prove I'm genuine

I'm on a BOAT, but most of it is a gravel road. And yes, I've learned the hard way. Not doing that again, that's for sure. As for the one post, I only bought it a couple of months ago. My first proper car. I had a small hatchback before but that's no fun at all.

Basically, I'm stuck in a ditch. If anyone could tow me out that'd be grand. It won't take much to tow it out, but it definitely won't drive out. I've abandoned it there for the moment (it's not blocking anything) but if anyone could help me as soon as you can that'd be grand. I'm new in Land...