So a requires a careful approach whilst preparing for the table, I guess. Do you skin them first or marinade in red wine?

Godda vair bit dun tudai, swepp is chimbley zarvernune, rebedded register plate anorl. Then went pub verra couple a back ohm. Tu showers and sooty smell still under us vingernails. Gnight volks!

I think it’s that there’s no international money symbol for the Jellytot so the lister has been forced to use the £ instead. Not his fault.

Been a tough year with these little horrors. We get lots of deer ticks which get enormous. Trick is to wait until they’re nicely full and then get them when they’re less keen on the job. Then chuck them on the woodstove and watch them pop. Unfortunately they don’t scream in agony, which would be...

I say…..it’s not the new MiniMoke, is it? 😂

They be Vrenchmen. Not enough of they little grey fellers aboat nowadays.

Evenin orl, Annuver dai dun, annuver blud tess, annuver mornins wurk. Cocker zpaniel azleep on us chest arfter his furst dai’s wurk ont partridges. Mrs DG sez him wuz a gude lad in zpite uv being a darf little bonehead. Ees muved up the zofa now so in range….

Reminds me of the back entrance to my bike shed.

This mornins zport be tekkin deer ticks off me little cocker an chukkin em ont woodstove. Zum uvvem go pop int zatisfyin way. Were 3 uv nasty parasites. Cud be wurser, cud be politicians but I zpose em’d squeal bedderer.

Mornin volks. Up urly ferrus dugs, gorra blud tess ledder on, wundrin if there be a markit fer me unwantid blud as there be shedlodes uvvit aboat 😂. See Trump’s adda nuvva bloke try to pop im. Wunder wot fat orange sex pest liar is payin fer these “attempts”.

Depens ow long he’m daid. Em du zay hams be exlent aytin, us boys not tried un yet.

Us ad two vrosts in field by river vurst fing, twuz Thursday and Friday us rackon. Be a zurprise but will put bluddy ticks back in their box. Av been a bad yur, pickin em off after goin up ont moor.

Mornin folks. Us boys adda lie in zmornin. Rackon us desurves un. Swmbo av tekken dugs oat zo goan avva egg n bacon zanwedge wiv pint uv tea. This be wot freedom means int twennyvurs zentry. Peace, bruvvers an zizturs.

Yo bro, that sick!!

Mornin volks, Oat wivvus dugs zoon, Mrs DG onna way ohm vrum Yorkshire as us speke. Wiv grandotter anorl. Zo us be runnin arown tidyin an zweepin. Coffee a toast dun, best ged goan. Avva gude dai, frens.

Damping down the woodstove now and getting sorted for bed. Happy Zs frens!

Mornin orl, Vurst vrost uv ortum doan by river turdai. Dugs wet bud appi. Six days wivvoat chemo now zo goan tu wurk tu mek best uv it poison free. Avva gude dai volks.

Yeah, different name for the same mob. I’ll email the council and tell them they’re a bunch of underhand shysters. But they probably know that anyway.

Definitely not. Lit mine yesdi. Dugs be loving it.

Yer reet there. Anything to kill the blimmin disease.