I made a tomato & pepper soup last year and it was rather hot…only used 1 pepper for the entire thing!

Just ordered some different super-hots chilli plugs…

It’s far, far worse than CalMac and you end up in Shetland.

That new life insurance policy…

Yes. In a force 8 gale there and a 9 coming back. Get a cabin. The whole boat smells of chip fat and diesel. They serve a dish called Beef Olives. They are far from the peak of culinary excellence. Some members will feel right at home on Shetland:

7.55am and I'm trying to get through at least 2 sections of an NEC4 course...

Dunt work on plastic buckets

£1.50, half a curly wurly and a bag of pickled onion monster munch. Final offer.

If it says Pol Roger on it, you don’t want it but I’ll give you £1.50 for it

If you’ve forgotten your valentine card, take this;

Probably Moet, that well-known drain cleaner.

I see Weymouth’s second best assistant barman is back with more invaluable advice 🤣

Successfully handed over 12,000 square feet of office space to Cap Gemini, a whole week before planned PC date so bonu$ time…

Thankfully it’s not snowing here.

A whole week without any alcohol. Not even cooking sherry late at night.

It’s an odd thing but occasionally I feel I’m being stalked by an old pervert that likes to send unsolicited private messages to me with no context or explanation. Hopefully he’ll stop soon.

Just after I fed my wife all the illicit drugs she had because the hospital - now referred to simply as ‘H’ had no idea what they were doing, especially the nurses (now referenced ‘N’) - because of lockdown I couldn’t obtain another life insurance policy (LIP) so I had to sit at home and swallow...

Taken the cost out of her pittance of a salary. When wifey was alive, we use to enjoy burning £50 notes and feeding each other’s medicine to next doors cat.

The idea of a club to join for the sailing of boats is long past its sell-by date. The whole thing is now antiquated and of little value. My cleaner’s next door neighbour’s lover had a second cousin who applied to join and they interviewed the vicar !