Ok, it's been passed around a few garages but I settled on one 4 weeks ago simply because they said they would only charge for work done rather than pay for fault finding. After curing 3 oil leaks, a water leak, taking cam lobe measurements, checking tappet clearances (no gap on any lifter)...

Lol, who knows. It's like when you're doing a Google search for the location of a cam sensor and end up watching narcoleptic dwarf goat wrestling on YouTube.

I'm sure he was just offering his advice based on his experience. You did say your car also had noisy tappets and his suggestion to change the rockers seemed perfectly valid. There's plenty of **** taking on forums of all makes and models, that's just the Internet for you.

Yes they take my engine in exchange which in reality is in good serviceable condition and doesn't need a rebuild except for the tap tap tap. I'll probably take the plunge, I'm a sucker and people can see me coming from miles away (I did buy the car, sort of proves it lol) Does £1200 sound...

The video was taken in the dark so there is nothing to see, I uploaded it so interested forum users could listen and offer their opinions and suggestions. Vanos is variable valve timing fitted to the M62tub BMW petrol V8. Opinions are that it is a lifter, just like your P38 but mine doesn't go...

The company is called any engine in Wolverhampton and ye, all new vanos seals, chain, guides etc etc. Seen good things about them, seen some bad but they do work for JLR main dealers so surely can't be that bad? I changed the cam cover gasket and checked with a mirror the best I could a week or...

^^^^^ THIS This is what makes me think spending the extra £1000 isn't so bad so I think I'll treat myself to a new engine for my birthday. I hate guesswork and spending money TRYING to repair a fault, it could easily cost £2500 just to try and fix it. It seems very cheap for a recon engine...

Well........... had it into the BMW indy this morning, diagnosis: A lot of oil all over the engine but there is oil high up so start with rocker cover gaskets, clean up engine and check for leaks. Additional leaks will be extra to fix, cost for rocker cover gaskets.... £300. Tap tap tap. Told...

Thanks mate. Gonna go for the flush and 5w40 and see how it goes. Did the bleed procedure, 3000rpm for 3 mins up to 5 times then 3000rpm for 15 mins to finish off if the shorter attempts don't work but if it pukes it's internals all over the M6, I've located another block lol. Thanks for your...

Thanks for that Mr HC. Hopefully now it's not losing oil at the rate of 1/2 litre every 100 miles I can run a flush and do another oil change (only been 3k since the last one although it's always got fresh oil in it due to the self drain option lol). Got a 150 mile round trip tomorrow so I'll...

Was on it today, found a small pipe with no home to go to, followed it up to the PCV. Had a look round and the small pipe on the metal oil return pipe had nothing on it so guessed that's where it lives so will have to see how that goes. Rocker cover is dry so it seems I did a good job on that...

I bought a stethoscope, arrived this morning so gonna give it a go. I also took another one of your pointers and bought a borescope to have a look for this damned oil leak lol. Bit of diagnostics tomorrow I think ahead of next week's wallet emptying exercise.

As said, timing/vanos kits have come down in price now and can be found for around £150 on ebay. The cam lobes of number 1 should both be pointing upwards (inlet and exhaust) but at an almost 45 degree angle if that makes sense, if this was done with the timing chain still fitted, it is firing...

Quick update but nothing really to report. Had Derby 4x4 listen to the engine where opinions went from everything from bottom end to a lifter including everything in between. Booked in for a more thorough check over next Wednesday but here's the kicker. A mate of mine who is very friendly with...

I will, oil definitely not coming out of the exhaust, it's burning oil on the manifold/downpipe. There is staining on top of the right hand downpipe which suggests the problem is probably more towards the back of the engine and high up so I think I'll check the PCV because it was the same garage...

I've run my finger along the gasket edge and it seems OK which is worrying as now I'm thinking I'm looking at a bigger problem. Gonna give it a wash off under the bonnet and keep my eye on things, hopefully it's not too serious. Thanks.

PCV was changed in March along with the hoses so it should be Ok. I don't have rave so didn't know of a specific tightening procedure but I did use high temp RTV sealant in the required places. The previous gasket appeared to be a bit of a bodge job which might explain the amount of oil in the...

I give up lol. Gasket changed (thanks for your help with the list HC) still smoking, oil hitting the hot exhaust and burning off in massive clouds of blue smoke, (was just one cloud earlier but it was 1/4 mile long!) I'm hoping it's just excess oil being blown about but something tells me it's...

Spot on, thanks mate, not seen anything to suggest a particular type of sealant so very helpful. Job for Friday now although it's lost a gallon in 4 weeks, it's worse than I thought it was but at least its getting done now. Cheers

I assume LR003812 is drivers side?