Oanly iffn yer cloves is reely heavy. Laike 10 or 15 Army greatcoats.

Ee be a gurt big dam int Murrica.

Us du av an ole Dyson mains powered upright oover an ee will clean any blimmin fing. Powerful as eck wivva huge waste bin. Will clean whole house including cocker hair. But swmbo likes the batttery ones and they are as much use as a cardboard wetsuit. No power, no capacity, filters block in...

Mornin orl, Annuva wee trip tu osspiddle zmornin, herself be oat zhootin wiv dugs zo er av the Yeti. Us boys geddun in her skip, was a Fabia. Ow du wimmins av cars laike this? Be laike a feed mill. Crisspackets, digestive crumms, tangled leads. Us yeti no bloody obberadin theatre but gawd almighty.

Us boys spose shovel be fer gerrin mud oat uv inside. Duddun luke tu comfy but not bad ferra scaffolder’s van. An marginally bedderun a Prius. Mornin orl. Tis drai doan yer now arfter bidder wet oavernaight. Orf tu orspiddle agen a bit ledder zo need to get sorted. Avva gude dai volks!

Nooo…..3 are blow-ins. One blew in about 8 years ago. The other two belong to a neighbour who lost interest.

Yoosin dire leck wirds int general vorum ken be cunvoozin fer uvvers. Praps us zhud ask ver trans lashun. If yer ken zay “trans” nowadays.

Gude tu zee yer, WL. Us orl need high aters now anna gen! Mornin orl, be drai doan yer, us come doanstares and found four cats dossin int kitching. Us only av one cat.

What Tate deserves can’t be typed into an open forum.

Us farther used a Parker 45 laike us boys but used Parker royal blue. He too had a lovely fist which I long emulated but then he would, he was a design engineer in the old days of drawing boards and T squares.

Cuz twuz different. And eezier tu read in my view.

Wot rummage. Us boys bin bald zince us wuz 28. Nivver give us a zecond thort. In fact, Twas eezier in pub tu. More Daves than Baldies.

Mrs DG bort us boys a Cross Millennium a tis vairy gude tu write wiv. Vairy near us ole Parker 45 which spaniels munched. Us boys allus writes in turk wise ink zo twas eezy tu find culprit.

I use Halfords Advanced and Draper Expert (which I’m convinced come from the same source), Teng and US Pro. Haven’t had a failure yet in 4 years of work on rusty, old, neglected machines every day so I’d recommend all of them. The real secret is using ample amounts of Plus Gas as long as...

Early photographers put their lives on the line using the wet collodion process in tents as they had to coat the plates and then expose them whilst still wet. The fumes were very toxic.

Us boys duddun buy cloes as needs ironin. Em juss get ungup till ems drai. This be a stress relievin strategy.

He’s going wish he’d borted a Vreelanderer.

Err us go agen. Mrs DG’s Skoda off ferra MOT. Will be ok. Ad banana an choclit fer brekfuss, avvin a sit doan now. Avva gude won frens.

Great idea, Andy, but the number of FL1’s around here means yer arm’ll soon drop off!

Ee niver doshed us boys nyver. Us vinkin uv cashin em up int case nu guvvamint tackses us zavins. Av all ways bin tacks vree but us duddun truss em.