Funkykipper

Funkykipper

Green Laning Activist.
Forum Sponsor
Had a lovely chat with the land owner on a lane today.

We don't want your sort down here ripping up the peace of the countryside and annoying our local bobble hat brigade.

I'm trying to get the lane changed to a bridleway to stop you lot passing my house and using my private cattle grid.

So lord Trumpet Wafflesnatch got out his notepad as obviously been instructed to do by the local secret service and collect those registrations as he approached our two land rovers which had parked up having lunch by the idylic river setting.

Usual script of i'm not willing to make any changes to support the equilibrium of motor vehicles on this lane as we simply don't want you here so i'll write some strongly worded letters and form a committee to get ooodles of support from the locals and increase ones standing in the community for single handedly removing the scurge from my land.

So with calm conversation and lots of head nodding, then chin scratching and sensible options put forward to help towards keeping the chuggers on the lane and all dismissed as irrelevant he left with my phone number and a promise to contact me if any undesirable activity occurs.

What he expects me to do from 100 miles away i'm not sure but he definately didn't expect a calm reception polite discussion and it totally took the wind from his sails.

So as this pastime increases in popularity we should expect more opposition and I am sure as the message to keep calm and enjoy greenlaning gets around we can maybe one day live happily side by side with Lord Tosspot of the Private Cattle Grid Do Not Use.

:amen: :amen: :amen:
 
I have permission to shoot rooks and pigeons on manor grounds, politely asked and explained why I want them shot.
The pleasant reply was not to shoot towards dogs or humans and I could shoot as many as I liked
 
Kips... it is very strange how the wind goes out tof the sails when they realise that they are not dealing with ignorant thugs, but normal people with intelligence.

I recall going out with a few mates laning a couple of years ago and being confronted by a bloke who forced my vehicle to stop.... (when I say forced... it wa stop or run him over and the fact that I had the children in the car made me think that stopping was the best option!)

"Why have you driven up here"

"Because we can...."

"But.... Why would you want to?"

"Because if we do not use the lanes available to us they will be lost"

"You are disrupting my weekend and that makes me angry!"

"You are disrupting my drive in the countryside and that is making me cross too"

"You should not be here!"

"Yes we should... and that fact was reflected in the reduced value of your home when you bought it so quit moaning!"

And on we drove..... the bloke was apoplectic! not to mention mildly irritated... I think he expected some young ill educated yob... not a family man out for a country drive!
 
Absolutely, I have seen the ****e element on this particular lane before so I was fully expecting the wrath to be cast down upon me.

The more I experience these people the easier it gets to knock them sideways with conversation.

We all know it is a problem with knuckle draggers ripping up lanes but we either make a stand now and protect our lanes or let them all be lost forever.
 
Bridleway with a cattle grid, sounds....erm....great. :rolleyes: anyhoo well done on rising above it. Nothing like cutting someone off at the knees in a calm, cool, collected manner. :D
 
Silverlandy said:
Bridleway with a cattle grid, sounds....erm....great. :rolleyes: anyhoo well done on rising above it. Nothing like cutting someone off at the knees in a calm, cool, collected manner. :D
Click to expand...

Yes the sign says 'private cattle grid please use the gate' :D

I couldn't cut him off at the knees as he was only five foot tall as it is. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 
What a sensible post. I have a friend who used to be in a motorcyle club. They looked the part with their colours etc and,fair enough, a few of them were nuts. Most of the club were professionals in their occupations but mental weekend bikers. They used to get a buzz out of going into a bar, and asking politely for x amount of lagers. The bar person used to go from terrified to relaxed in a nanosecond when their pre-conceived idea of bikers was washed away by their courtesy. Its the same with landy dudes. Where is this going to end, I wonder? Will there be routes for bobble hatters and separate routes for vehicles? Eventually all vehicles will be non-smokers so our present generation of old smokers may be pushed out. Shame really.
 
It was a nice Cattle Grid though, looked vary posh and impressed me, Also I couldnt help but wonder whilst being lectured by Lord Tosspot what type of tie knot he used, it was vary smart. On a serious point Mr Kipper did ask VARY POLITELY , " can we camp on your field in the future ? "
 
psulli16 said:
It was a nice Cattle Grid though, looked vary posh and impressed me, Also I couldnt help but wonder whilst being lectured by Lord Tosspot what type of tie knot he used, it was vary smart. On a serious point Mr Kipper did ask VARY POLITELY , " can we camp on your field in the future ? "
Click to expand...

Well today one tent, tomorrow a field full of pikey vans. At least he'd get the lane resurfaced cheap.
 
top man , give them what they dont expect , works a treat. did you have a dump on his doorstep when he had fooked off:banana:
 
It did make me smile to see Kipper be incredibly polite to Lord Snooty who came down the hill all full of a head of steam and ready to make war with us and left shaking our hands and thanking Kipper for helping him think through how ot make things work!! Just shows that however much of a tosser these people are if you are polite and kind they have all the wind taken out of their sails and can be won around. The sign on the gate / cattle grid made me larf as we went through it full whack!!
 
The biggest issue that has resulted from that meeting was that he wasn't interested in making changes to fences or the road surface.
He just saw the easiet option and get the tratters banned. No cost outlay to improve the lane or fence off the part that joins his field, just ban them.

Unfortunately he is not the only one who feels like this.
 
On that point, mr kipper offered to fit a bloody fence or appropriate barrier to enure mr tossers land was secured, but alas he turned the offer down. Nice tie though.
 
psulli16 said:
Nice tie though.
Click to expand...

Probably a Double Windsor, no schoolboy knots for landed gentry.

draft_lens16856271module142960361photo_1293228548Double-Windsor-Step-103.j
 
I often read the accounts on here of people being rude to green lane motorists, and it winds me up something chronic. It's always good to read how most land rover members act in these sort of confrontations though.

In my limited green lane experience, I can only think of one time I've run into a farmer.

'Twas about 3 weeks ago, and me and a pal, were driving along a greenlane, which was part of a ploughed muddy field. Admittedly my disco with balding muds on was struggling but we were churning forward slowly when we saw a bearded man in his late twenties, on a quad bike, and another on the back, come driving towards us. We both slowed to a stop as we passed and I said hello to him through the open window. I can only assume he was the farmer, or the farmers son, due to his three remaining yellow teeth, smurf style wooly hat, and look not too disimilar to these two fine fellows.
yokels.jpg
He asked what I was up to, and I answered telling him I was doing a bit of greenlaning, and he replied"Oh furrr playyyy shagggg", and warned me that it was particularly muddy that day. I thanked him for his advice, and he suggested I drove it another day, because "We've just come from the other end and you'll struggle in this'un. The other ones with the big wheels n all the gear on em only just make it up errrrre", I thanked him for his advice, he thanked me, I turned around and that was it.

He's obviously used to getting alot of 4x4s going across his land, and didn't play up with me at all, he was friendly enough to stop and chat. I dare say he seemed interested.

I was quite surprised that he gave me such a friendly response, as initially I thought I would open my window to some 4x4 abuse, yokel-style, but no such thing.
 
Me and some friends went down a lane last month, as we were about to drive through the gate the farmer drove past and waved, we then drove through his field of sheep to find a TRO at the far end, we then drove all the bay back past his sheep again to get out, Why oh Why did he not say its closed ???
 
Funkykipper said:
Absolutely, I have seen the ****e element on this particular lane before so I was fully expecting the wrath to be cast down upon me.

The more I experience these people the easier it gets to knock them sideways with conversation.

We all know it is a problem with knuckle draggers ripping up lanes but we either make a stand now and protect our lanes or let them all be lost forever.
Click to expand...

So nice to see that there are others on here that read from the same page ;)
 
Good thread this, I had a similar experience with a 'chap' whilst laning in Devon with a friend of mine, we met him mid lane and stopped to let him and his dog past, as he got the my window he started having a go at us both for destroying the countryside.. the wind was soon taken out of his sails when I explained that if it had not been for us winching a fallen tree clear of the lane and chopping it into manageable chunks he would have not be able to walk the length of the lane! He persisted in making some waffle-waffle-mutter-mutter noises and stated that the farmer would have cleared the lane with his tractor, to which I replied "yeah good luck getting a tractor down here!" The very grateful man then left us in peace, safe in the knowledge that he was completely justified and not wrong in the slightest telling us that our motor insurance probably didn't cover us for off-road driving.... ON A SIGNPOSTED BYWAY!! Silly silly leather-elbowed-tweed-wearing dogger! I mean dog walker :)
 
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