Audrey the Freeloader
New Member
I bought my first Range Rover in 1996. It started as a V8 with the famous dashboard mini-windscreen wiper (fuel gauge!) One of the first times I was whizzing off to work, I had to stop and phone the mechanic for a diagnostic.... there was a gushing sound from the engine every time I accelerated. “It’s fine” he said with a chuckle in his voice, that’s the petrol going in the engine! Ha ha ! At the time, fuel was around 79p a litre. and my weekly mileage was 400 a week... you do the maths! Then one spring day, a glance in the rear view mirror revealed nothing. Couldn’t see a thing for smoke emitting... there goes the head gasket then. A bit of serious maths and research, and a few weeks later and a respite holiday at dear Stan Tooth in Berkshire. And the transgender change was complete. Clarissa the Range Rover was now a 200 turbo diesel. The kick down whizz I missed, the fuel bills and missing mini-wiper, I did not! Clarissa was eventually “retired” in 2004 The trips and cash pouring never ceased to entertain. My fathers unexpected widower title arrival followed by MND decay, and his wheelchairs, battery powered, rough terrain buggy complete with drive-up ramps, fully justified the continuing services and upgrades. We even got invited to Buckingham Palace, and a VIP valet made Clarissa a member of the Chelsea sect for a day! The Queens Horseguards thought the drive down ramps were great fun, although Police protection thought we were the Bomb squad! What, in full Top hat and tails? Sadly much change in life meant a more economical approach, so it was 1.8 mpi LRF why oh flipping why? Already on its second engine under warranty, and by the time I could push it out of the way, it had had a further 2 HG changes, and skims. Big mistake. Now however I have “Audrey” a Facelift gunmetal grey 2ltr TD4 se 4dr with no effing sun roof ! Okay not perfect, in fact I’m about to ask a Q elsewhere, but it does me. Why? Having had both upper and lower spinal surgery, low seat cars and I don’t get on! I need a seat at bum height or there’s pain or I get stuck. I can tow a goodly tonnage being on Grandfather rights driving licence, I can drive it “properly” although currently, I choose not to, but I know what mud is! And have enjoyed a day doing the LR Experience which truly did teach this dog new tricks. It may not have the cubic space with seats down as a Rangey, but it does. I have always felt justified pouring money into recusitation of a LR, and often wondered when “car” owners look at me as if I have escaped from the local asylum- rumour has it “normal” car owners don’t do this, they just get another one, how bizarre! The back has put pay to horizontal maintenance, so regional mechanics benefit or even a dealership! So having over thirty years of proudly owning a sortie of green oval badged automobiles and driven many many more, including the new lot, makes me very happy to admit to being a tad geeky. I just wish I had the mechanical confidence like Ed China in Wheeler Dealers! Even undoing a wheel nut is never that easy for me. Oh well, I bet he can’t make/edit films though! Hope you found reading my Landy-biog as interesting as I do your tech talk and diagnostics. Now, about this noise...
