There's a joke in them words.
I can understand why your having trouble with the gearbox. Must be hard running after the vehicle
I think you have a poltergeist who likes driving your wagon
Best see a local banshee or shaman quickly.
Welcome to landyzone painting by numbers of naked Landrovers by picasso
That's just the start of your problems .... welcome to the forum.
There is a section for TD5 Defenders, if you listen carefully you can hear a mass sobbing with interspersed 'me too' noises and some sounds of light laughter from the 200 and 300tdi owners.